"The Same River Twice" part 1 blog

Throughout reading "The Same River Twice" by Chris Offutt I found it very interesting.  Within the first paragraph I found the writing to be very descriptive.  He says, "the ripples left by forgotten tides"(page 9).  I feel he is trying to say that some things happen and are always forgotten, but maybe they shouldn't be.  I enjoyed him writing about the outdoors and his experiences.  He says, "Cloud shadows are great fish moving swiftly overhead."(page 9) from this you can tell he is probably laying outside looking up at the moving clouds.  I enjoyed this quote because it reminded me of my childhood and something we would do as kids.

The book starts off with a Prologue where Offutt describes nature and its ability to have great power.  He talks about how nature will always be here wether we are here or not, and how it has always been here even before us.  This shows how great nature is and one shouldn't mess with its ability.  I find his quote, "I should be a rock sculptor, carving a mighty pantheon to rival the debris we left on the moon."(page 10) very interesting.  I feel he is trying to show the change over generations through living on earth.  

Through the reading he talks about his home and being married to Rita.  I found his description of Iowa interesting.  When he says, "Farmers have used the land so long that the richest soil in the nation is just old dirt."(page 11) I felt he was describing how much they use their land for agriculture very well.  I found it amusing when he had to ask his wife three different times to marry him, and the only time she said yes was on the morning of her birthday when she has just woken up.  He goes on to talk about their attempts at having a child.  He uses this part to show humor in his writing.  He says, "DNA merged into the corkscrew that resembled the Milky Way's spiral, Hermes' Staff, the swift helix of infant birth."(page 16).  I felt he uses great language in this quote, especially being a redneck from Kentucky.

  When describing his home town he says, "My hometown is a zip code with a creek."(page 19) I really liked this quote because it allows us to see how small his town was.  One of my favorite quotes was when he said, "The completed road linked the world to the hills, but failed to connect us to the world."(page 20).  He uses this to explain how no one ever gets out of the small town.  If you life there you will probably stay there and not have a chance to go outside into the unknown world.  I felt it was a pretty quick change for him leaving into the real world.  When he says, "I felt bad being the first to erode the family, though I had already been at it for awhile."(page 21), this definitely shows his will to get out of the small town and become his own person and have his own life.

When he got out of the town and into the city I thought it was interesting that he found somethings still to be the same.  He had a hard time fitting in and finding his place in the city.  I found it entertaining when he had mistaken the women in the laundromat.  He thinks they are from Harlem just because they are black and he soon finds out he is very wrong.  Not just that they are from Puerto Rico but also they have been speaking spanish and he has just figured out the language.  All along he had thought it was some strange dialect.  I found the situation with the hermaphrodite very disturbing but also thought of it as a situation one might be faced with being from such a small town.  He is having to figure out his new surroundings and has to learn from his mistakes.

His relationship with Jahi was very interesting.  He seemed to learn a lot from her.  I also felt that she allowed him to figure out more of who he was.  He says, "Some of the pages held my full name and place of birth on every line to remind me that I lived."(page 34).  I felt he is saying that he felt more alive when he was at home rather than in the city somewhat alone.  Even though he has Jahi, I feel he is second guessing himself.  After reading all about her embarrassing or always making fun of him in public, I felt bad for him.  I was really proud of him when he said, "I hung up on her laughter and never saw her again."(page 37).  From this we can tell that he is standing up for himself and not following what others say or feel about him. Another part I liked a lot was when he was talking about him and his roommates and said, "We were all foreigners in the land of the free."(page 45).  I felt he is saying that even though we are all different we are free to be who we want to be.  We can all come together and get along fine just by being ourselves.       

Stop-Go Analysis

GO(I like this):

Thus far in English 215 I have really enjoyed the class.  I feel the in class discussions really help everyone understand the reading material better.  After reading a section I sometimes feel that I do not grasp what happened, which helps when we go over the material in class.  I really like the class readings.  I think all the readings are very interesting and make for good discussion.  The syllabus is structured well.  The amount of work given is just enough for the class.  The amount of reading for each class is not to much or to little.  My favorite piece of writing so far has been, "Glengarry Glen Ross" by David Mamet.  I felt the play was very interesting and enjoyable to read.  I feel the blogging section of the class really helps me understand the readings better.  I am able to really think about what is happening in the readings and understand the meaning in depth.

YIELD (things we should do more often):

I really don't have much to say in this section.  I feel like everything we do is fine.  We blog enough for each week, if we did anymore it would probably be a little to much.  This at least goes for those that blog two to three times a week.  I did enjoy when we got to watch part of the movie to the play.  It allowed me to really understand the reading and see what was going on.  The elimination of "The Music of Chance" does not upset me that much.  I feel I will probably still read it and blog just because I have it.  This change does help my work load with all the other work i'm having to do in other classes.  

STOP (please no more):

This is another section that I do not have much to write about.  I have really enjoyed the class so far.  I did however not really enjoy "Lolita".  I do not think this means you should get ride of it I just found it to be inappropriate at parts.  I know there is more to it than just those parts, but I was not to into the book.  I also found "Howl" to be a tough read.  I found it hard to understand what was going on and interpret what the reader was saying.  Yet again I do not think it should be taken away from the readings.  I think many people can get a lot out of both of these.  

"Glengarry Glen Ross" Part two Blog

During the next part of the play I was somewhat confused but then figured out that Roma wanted Levene to pretend to be a client.  During the next little while Levene and Roma go back and forth with Levene pretending to be a D. Ray Morton.  It seemed that Levene was a little lost in what to say when he says, " No...Black Creek. Yes.  In Flordia?"(page 79).  I felt that Roma was having to say more and keep it going because Levene was about to ruin the act.  Lingk has no idea what is going on but needs to talk to Roma about what his wife has told him, but Roma does not want to listen.  Then Lingk says, "My wife said I have to cancel the deal"(page 82).  Once he says this Roma understands his wife's concern and tries to leave it at that.  Then Lingk tells him about his wife calling the Attorney and only having three days.  Once this is said I feel that Roma was in somewhat of a panic.  He tries to mess with Lingk about when the three days are up but he is smarter than that.

I found the next part to be funny because the Baylen comes back out and wants to speak to Levene, who is still pretending to be D. Ray Morton.  While deciding what to do, Aaronow comes out of the room mad.  He says, "I'm through, with this fucking meshugaas.  No one should talk to a man that way."(page 87).  From this we can tell that he is very frustrated with how the Baylen treated him in his interrogation.  During this, Levene rushes into the room with the Baylen so Lingk does not have time to figure out he is really not D. Ray Morton.  The Baylen soon comes out and wants to talk with Roma again who obviously gets mad at this.  He says, "It's not me that ripped the joint off, I'm doing business."(page 91).  Roma is clearly trying to talk with Lingk about his situation but is being interrupted and is getting annoyed about it.  

The next part was definitely my favorite.  Lingk goes on to tell Roma he does not have the power to work on the deal.  He is suppose to do what his wife has told him to and not listen to Roma.  Roma then gives Lingk an outlook on life and his marriage.  He says," Your life is your own.  You have a contract with your wife. You have certain things you do jointly, you have a bond there...and there are other things.  Those things are yours."(page 93).  Roma is trying to tell Lingk that although his wife is telling him to do something the decisions is also his choice.  He can make decisions on his own and not always have to follow his wife.  He also wants the deal to work out for him.  In this case he is also using his kind words for his own advantage.  

After this Williamson comes to wonder about how Levene knew of the contract.  He says,"Now how did you know that contract was on my desk?"(page 99).  I feel this kind of startled Levene but just went off on him saying he was wrong.  Williamson then says, "You robbed the office."(page 99).  Soon enough Williamson gets it out of Levene that he sure enough robbed the office.  He tells Levene if he tells him what he did with them he will not tell the Baylen anything.  He just wants to know from Levene himself what happened.  Levene tells him he sold them to Jerry Graff and then explains the price situation.  Levene says, "But it taught me something. What it taught me, that you've got to get out there."(page 101) he is saying that from the robbery he has learned a lot and feels it will help in become a better salesman.  

Once Williamson finds all this information out he says, "You've got a big mouth, and now I'm going to show you an even bigger one."(page 102) this shows that even though he said he wasn't going to turn him in he is definitely going to.  He wants to turn Levene in because he does not like him.  No matter what Levene offers Williamson he will not change his mind.  This worries Levene who knows he is about to get turned in.  Levene also finds out the huge sale he had made is worthless.  The men only like talking to salesmen but never follow through and the checks never clear.  Levene says, "John:...my daughter..."(page 104) this goes back to the beginning when he keeps trying to start a sob story with his daughter, but Williamson is not going to take it.  He does not care what Levene has to say anymore he just wants to turn him in.  

Roma then comes out from talking with the baylen and proceeds to tell Levene, "We are the members of a dying breed."(page 105) he wants them to become partners and work together.  However Roma does not know that Levene is the criminal and is being turned in that very moment.  Levene is soon called in to talk with the baylen and Roma is still clueless.  He tells Williamson of his plans but Williamson just tells him not to worry about it.  The play ends with Aaronow asking if they have caught the man that broke in but all Roma says is he doesn't know.  Although Williamson and Levene know of what happened they do not say anything to Roma or anyone else.  All together I felt this was a very interesting play and enjoyed reading it.

"Glengarry Glen Ross" Blog

Act one starts off with two men, Levene and Williamson, in a restaurant.  Williamson is Levene's boss.  Levene is trying to sell real estate but has had a hard time making his sales lately and has been on a bad streak.  He says, "I pray in your life you will never find it runs in streaks."(page 16) I found this as a notion for Williamson to give Levene a break.  Levene wants him to realize he is going through a bad streak but that it will soon be broken and just wants the right lead to prove it to him.  He goes on to explain that he really needs a better lead so he can get on the board.  If Levene does not make it on the board he realizes that he will be fired and can't afford to have this happen to him. He says, "I need them now.  Or I'm gone, and you're going to miss me, John, I swear to you."(page 18), he is trying to prove to Williamson that he needs him in the business.  Even though he is on a bad streak right now he was and still is a great salesman.  Levene is trying to make Williamson realize he will be losing a great salesman if he is fired.

The play goes on with Williamson telling Levene is is truly against company policy for him to just hand him the better leads.  He says, "anybody falls below a certain mark I'm not permitted to give them the premium leads."(page 19) he is trying to tell Levene that you must be on the board to be considered for the top leads.  He is not just allowed to hand them over.  He needs to realize he has to work hard to receive the better leads.  I really liked the line when Levene says, "you're giving me toilet paper."(page 21) showing that the leads he has been giving  aren't worth anything.  The only way he can get Williamson to consider giving him a better lead is by trying to offer him a percentage of his sales.  After debating this over Williamson only agrees if he gets 20 percent and 50 dollars for each lead.  Levene tries to argue this but knows he has to consider ever option or he will be fired.  Then Williamson asks for part of the money that day but Levene does not have the cash on him, making Williamson change his mind.  When Levene says, "my daughter..."(page26) I felt he was trying to start a pity story to try and get him to change his mind but Williamson does not fall for it and ends up leaving the restaurant.

The next scene switches to two other sales men, Moss and Aaronow, who are talking about customers that they do not like.  Moss starts the conversation and says, "Polacks and deadbeats."(page 28).  Polacks refers to people from Poland and obviously the deadbeats refer to the customers who are not buying.  Moss goes on to say,"don't ever try to sell an Indian."(page 29). They feel that Indians never buy anything so really it is a waste of their time to even try selling to them.  All they want to do is talk to them instead of really focusing on buying.  Later on he also talks of someone hurting the men in charge of the company and says, "Someone should rob the office"(page 38).  He feels this is necessary because he does not find it fair the way they run the office.  The difference in prizes received at the end of the selling period is a bit extreme.  I also think if is harsh to fire the two lowest in sales because some people may be like Levene and Aaronow and just be having a bad streak.

I found scene three to be every different from the other two.  This scene came across in a much more direct and profound way.  Roma starts asking many different questions and answering them all himself.  When he says, "You fuck little girls, so be it."(page 47) it reminded me right about of the other stories we have read.  "Lolita" being the first.  I found all his questions to himself to be very direct and in some ways horrible to think about.  I also noticed Lingk does not talk much at all throughout the scene.  Most of the talking is done by Roma and his out look on life.  I really liked when he said, "The true reserve that I have is the strength that I have of acting each day without fear."(page 49).  I like that he can live like freely and not worry about fear.  

Act 2 was very long but interesting.  The scene starts off with Aaronow and Williamson standing outside the office smoking.  Roma then comes up and freaks out about the contracts and how he closed all of his and should be at the top of the board.  He says, "Then I'm over the fucking top and you owe me a Cadillac."(page 54) I felt this was very strong.  He keeps mentioning the Cadillac and it seems that is all he cares about.  I did like in the next part when Aaronow is saying he isn't good because he hasn't been able to sell any and Roma says, "You're a, hey, you had a bad month.  You're a good man, George."(page 57) .  I liked that he was so reassuring to Aaronow and noticed that even if he hasn't been able to sell many lately he is still good at what he does and just hit a bad month.

During the next part Roma is still talking with Aaronow.  They are talking about having to talk with the cop and tell there story.  Aaronow seems nervous about having to talk to the cops and tells Roma he was not the guy that broke in.  Roma then says, " Then don't sweat it, George, you know why? You have nothing to hide."(page 61) .  I feel Aaronow might have lied considering he was suppose to be the one that broke in.  Roma then says,"Always tell the truth.  It's the easiest thing to remember."(page 61).  When he says this I felt that Aaronow was keeping back what he actually did.  Roma is obviously telling him the right thing to do, but I feel Aaronow is nervous because he knows he has to lie and that he might mess up his story.

We then encounter Levene who in the beginning was having a bad streak but has now broken it.  He comes in raving about selling eight units and it was even to people who were suppose to buy for some of the other guys.  He says, "...you have to believe in yourself..."(page 67).  To me I felt that since he finally was able to focus on what he needed to happen to be able to keep his job everything finally paid off.  I felt bad for Levene when Williamson says, "The only thing remarkable is who you made it to."(page 75) I felt this was beneath someone to say to him.  He has been working so hard and trying to keep his job and this remark was just a stab in the back.  All together I enjoyed the reading and found it to be a very interesting play.

"River of Names" and "Cathedral" blog

After reading "River of Names" by Dorothy Allison I was somewhat confused at what was happening, but found the writing very interesting.  When he says, "the rope around his neck pulled up into the sunlit heights of the barn, fascinating, horrible."(page 3), I found this to be disturbing only for the fact that the boy was only eight years old.  I do not understand why or how someone so young could kill themselves.  I also found it interesting that he used fascinating and horrible together.  Although it was such a horrible event he saw fascination in it somehow.  Then he says, " thick blood ran down her legs" and "stinking smoke"(page 4) both of these give reference to what had happened to his cousin.  We are able to see the blood in our minds and think of how badly the smoke would smell.  

Throughout this reading I found it interesting how large of a family they have and how if someone goes missing or dies they really do not miss them.  He says,"They died and were not missed"(page 5) I thought this could mean that since so many people pass away in his family and it normally seems to happen because they do it to themselves that everyone just stopped caring.  I feel like it came to be a usual thing to happen in the family so they just got used to it.  When it mentioned Greenville and Greer I was excited just because I am familiar with both of these places by being from Easley.  

In the next part of the story he says, "wasn't funny to me in my mama's bed with my stepfather"(page 6)  this reminded me of both "Home" and "Lolita".  All of these stories are relating to each other through this disturbing detail or adults having relations with children.  Although I realize the difference throughout them all.  I feel his relationship with Jesse really helps him because of how much she loves him.  All these memories are coming to him in his dreams and bringing back his horrible childhood.  He does not want to remember these stories but can't help it.  He then says the story of his Uncle Butch and how he would smell the gasoline in the cars but then one day someone taught him a lesson by lighting a match.  When I read about all these stories that happened in his family I feel bad for him and the things he had to witness as a child.

At the end of the story I was somewhat unhappy with the part about him and his sister with there dad.  From this happening to them they will grow up and not live a life like normal people.  Just like the next part where his sister becomes pregnant and says, "Don't we have a tradition of Bastards?"(page 11).  When she says this she is referring to all the men in her family who have treated them so badly over the years.  My favorite quote came from the last page and that is when he says, "a river of names endlessly repeating.(page 12).  I enjoy this quote because it has the title within it and it explains in sum what he has talked about throughout the whole story.  All the stories and names swimming through his head will never leave.  He will always remember what happened in his childhood.

The next story I read was "Cathedral" by Raymond Carver.  Within the first paragraph I was questioning the man.  Why would he have such a bad outlook on the blind.  He says, "And him being blind bothered me."(page 108) this seems silly to me.  I know it might not be that convent for him to have to deal with but the man is his wife's friend so he should so more respect.  The next part made more since to the first.  After reading about the blind man wanting to touch his wife's face, I found this a little creepy.  I could understand if it was just to remember someone but the way he described touching her neck and then her writing a poem about it.  He says, "She wrote a poem or two every year, usually after something really important had happened to her."(page 109).  This made me feel sad for the husband because obviously Robert was a very important part of her life at some point and time.

Throughout the next part of the story when Robert arrived we learned of his travels and that he was around forty years old.  I found it interesting that he could eat his food so easily and that when they went to talk in the living room the wife sat with Robert on the coach.  This shows a connection between the two especially by the husband sitting away in his chair.  He says, "Every night I smoked dope"(page 119) I found this interesting also because Robert also took part in something the husband enjoyed.  I also found in interesting when Robert told him about the Cathedral him and a friend were drawing.  He is sharing something that is very important to him with the husband who was not sure of him at first.  I also find it interesting because he is blind and can draw what he feels inside.  Over all I enjoyed the first story more because I felt it had an interesting message and enjoyed trying to figure out what was going on.

"Emergency" and "Home" Blog

After reading "Emergency" by Denis Johnson, I was somewhat confused.  I found his writing to be tricky to understand.  I did however, think that Georgie was an interesting person.  He says, "There's so much goop inside of us, and it all just wants to get out."(page 274) I felt he was trying to get at a deeper meaning than just the blood on the floor.  I feel he is trying to say that we all have so much information that no one knows about us inside that we just need to let it out sometimes.  When Georgie is helping with Terrence Weber and the knife accident, I felt this was the starting point of the blind issue brought up throughout the story.  When he says, "Your face is dark.  I can't see what you're saying"(page 276) this to me seems that Georgie is somewhat blind himself.  Wether it be real or a hallucination.  Another part I found interesting was when Terrence Weber said, "Not unless I die"(page 276) in relation to the doctor calling the cops on his wife.  I felt this really showed his love for his wife even after what she had done to him.

 Georgie seems to have some mental issues in the way that he is not all there, but proves wrong when helping others.  I found it very interesting that even though he seems less capable of these hard jobs, he is able to come through and treat others. I found it very interesting when Georgie came out of the operating room with the hunting knife in his hand that had been in the mans eye.  Everyone in the hospital seems to be very shocked at this new discovery, "The talk just dropped off a cliff"(page 278).  This shows that everyone was shocked at what Georgie had done because no one thought he was capable of such a hard task.

When Georgie went on the trip through the country I had a hard time connecting everything from the hospital to this trip.  I found the use of drugs awkward.  Georgie should not be using drugs if he is working in a hospital and especially if he pulled a knife out of a mans eye.  I did however find some connection between the two, "That sudden crispness, and the tang of evergreen stabbing us!"(page 280).  This made me have a flashback to the hospital with the eye incident.  The use of the word stabbing references the man who was stabbed in the eye.  All together I found the story to be interesting but a little hard to follow what was real and what was not.

The next story I read was "Home" by Jayne Anne Phillips.  I found this story to be much easier to understand.  Instead of dealing with Georgie and deciding if parts of the story were actually real or not, this story focused on the past and hurt relationships.  The story begins with a woman who has recently moved back home with her mother.  Once she is home the daughter comes across old photos of her mother.  She discovers that her mother is a totally different person.  Instead of being the girl that used to go out and have fun she had turned into someone who just wants to watch tv.  She says, "painted her lashes too lushly, too long; but her deep red mouth is correct."(page 411).  I found this interesting because it shows that the mother has changed but that some parts of her will always remain the same.

The daughter then goes on to talk about her father and their relationship.  I like when she says, "She married him in two weeks.  It took twenty years to divorce him"(page 412).  I felt the mother did not have time to realize who the person was she was marrying, but once they were married she did not want to leave him.  She also might have been scared to divorce him earlier on.  When the daughter talks of her dream I became disturbed.  From the information in the dream we can tell that she possibly was abused as a child.  She says, "He presses himself against my thigh,"(page 414), which shows her fathers disturbing act on his own child.  When I read this part I thought back to "Lolita" and the situation of the older man taking advantage of the younger girl.  

I feel the girl not only has trouble dealing with the issues of her father but of past relationships she was in.  She talks of Jason who came across as her high school sweetheart and first love.  The speaker then goes on to talk about Daniel.  Daniel seems very interesting but already has his own lover, however the speaker talks him into coming to visit her.  I found the part where she tells him of her father very interesting.  Since she has the bad dreams that seem to result from past situations, I felt this would be a hard subject to talk about with someone else.  The speaker then has sex with Daniel in the house.  The mother soon comes back from church and says she heard them in the bedroom.  This is hard for the mother because she does not want to see her child grow up.  The daughter is also having to deal with her mother always being around since she no longer does anything.  I felt the story really let us understand the struggle in everyday relationships and should how hard life and love can be.

"Lolita" part 4 blog

Humbert finally feels that he has gotten Lolita settled into stable home life, but soon feels uneasy about the situation.  He says, "I often felt we lived in a lighted house of glass"(page 180) this shows that even though they are settled in a home Humbert feels it is easy for the neighbors to find out what is going on.  He is always considering the thought that the neighbors might know or find out about his relationship with Lolita.  He is somewhat paranoid with the whole situation and continues these thoughts throughout their stay at the house.

We soon learn of Humbert's relationship with Gaston Godin who he plays chess with.  With all the neighbors and his new friend Lolita starts learning from the people around her.  She is not secure just by Humbert now, but able to learn about the world and things Humbert might not approve of.  Godin tells Lolita of ways to get her allowance raised, which does not sit well with Humbert.  By Lolita knowing this information she is soon able to be more objective in her actions towards Humbert.  Humbert says, "what I feared most was not that she might ruin me, but that she might accumulate sufficient cash to run away."(page 185) this shows Humbert's worry that Lolita would leave him if she could.  He is scared she has learned to much of what she is capable of doing and that she might follow through with these actions. 

Soon the headmistress at the school calls in Humbert for a meeting.  She is not worried of real education studies with Lolita, but that of her becoming more ladylike.  She is worried that Lolita is not getting enough social experience with the other kids.  From this meeting Humbert is talked into letting Lolita take part in the school play.  Humbert also allowed Lolita to have a party at their house but turned out to not be a success.  

One part I found very interesting was when Lolita asks Humbert if he remembers, "the hotel where you raped me"(page 202).  I found this very interesting because it was the first time throughout the book that Lolita mentions the action of rape.  I feel Lolita might be growing up to the fact that she might not respect Humbert for these actions.  Although Lolita has talked sexual to Humbert we have not been given these exact words yet.  She is becoming her own person and more rebellious as she grows up.  Humbert also mentions later on that, "She said she was sure I had murdered her mother."(page 205) this shows Lolita's rising knowledge as she is growing up and figuring out everything that is going on.  This section also made me feel Humbert is violent and could potentially end up hurting Lolita.

I found it interesting when Humbert says, "There are some things that should never be given up"(page 209).  I feel Humbert is referring to his time with Lolita and wanting to always be with her.  He knows there is only a certain amount of time before she grows up and he wants every minute to last.  Humbert wants their relationship to last and to always be together.  Later on while they are on their road trip Humbert discusses a supposed detective following them.  He seems panicked at not knowing who the person is or what they want.  He says, "But next day, like pain in a fatal disease that comes back as the drug and hope wear off, there it was again behind us, that glossy red beast."(page 219).  The pain of not knowing who or what the person wants is slowly getting to Humbert.  I am also uncertain if their really is a detective following them or if Humbert is so stressed out about the situation that he is now hallucinating.  Humbert could be so wrapped up into all his thoughts that he is stressing himself out over nothing. 

 

"Lolita" Part 2 Blog

Throughout the reading for "Lolita" this time I felt I could understand the reading better.  I was able to understand what Humbert was trying to get across, instead of just being disgusted.  When he says, " I had stolen the honey of a spasm without impairing the morals of a minor."(page 62) I felt he was saying he was pleased with himself and making himself happy when being with Lolita, but did so by not harming the child.  Then Humbert goes into talking about Lolita going off to camp.  He says, "for did it not mean I was losing my darling, just when I had secretly made her mine?"(page 63) even though she isn't his in reality he feels Lolita is a part of him and always will be.  He does not want her to be taken out of his life for to long, considering they only have so long before she grows up.

Humbert clearly cares about Lolita more so than just the lust.  He says, "I knew I had fallen in love with Lolita forever; but I also knew she would not be forever Lolita."(page 65).  I feel although Humbert is in love with Lolita he knows one day she will grow up and be just like the other women he sees everyday.  At this point in time he clearly wants to spend his time with Lolita as long as he can.  He will do anything to be close to her, which brings up the next part of the book.  Humbert soon finds out that Charlotte is in love with him.  He sees this as a way to stay close to his Lolita.  Eventhough he does not feel the same about Lolita's mother he knows this is the best he can do for the situation.  He feels if he can't just be with Lolita why not marry her mother so he can still see her everyday.

We can clearly tell he has fallen for Lolita and would not know what to do without her.  He later says, "She swam beside me, a trustful and clumsy seal, and all the logic of passion screamed in my ear: Now is the time!"(page 87).  Humbert has been debating if he should kill Charlotte so he could just be with Lolita.  Although this is what he wants to do he can't go through with it.  He didn't feel things were as hopeless with Charlotte as the other women he has been with.  

Humbert later says, "We are not sex fiends!...We are unhappy, mild, dog-eyed gentlemen,"(page 88).  He is trying to get across to everyone that he and others alike are not as horrible as we think of them.  He is making a rational statement about who he is.  Even though he has this problem he is not in anyway harming or trying to harm the children.  Humbert has fallen in love and just wants to be happy.  If he sees something he wants he will go after it no matter what it takes.  Even though we could see this as wrong he has no problem with it.

Charlotte is soon out of the picture by Humbert's actions and Humbert is free to be with his Lolita.  He is scared however that when he sees Lolita she will have changed.  He calls the camp telling of the mother in the hospital just to allow time for him and Lolita to have time together.  I will be interested to see how their relationship grows and what happens now that the mother is not there.