"The Eye" and "The Savage Detectives" Blog

In the beginning of "The Eye" we learn of a a man named Mauricio Silva who is known as "The Eye". He does not like violence and tries to avoid it at all costs. Then the narrator says, "but violence, real violence, is unavoidable, at least for those of us who were born in Latin America"(page 106). This is a foreshadow into what is to come throughout the story. After reading this sentence I was wanting to find out what was to come and was a little terrified to know what it would be.

The story starts off by talking about where The Eye has gone and how him and the narrator have become friends. The eye ends up getting made fun of by others who call him a homosexual which in reality he turns out to be. He ends up leaving for Paris to be a photographer because, "Everyone likes to be photographed"(page 107). The Eye left an impression on the narrator, "and even when his face had disappeared or receded into the shadows, that essence lingered in my memory"(page 109) From this quote it is clear that the Eye had a lasting impression on who he came in contact with. Once The Eye left, the narrator wanted to see him again. He ends up traveling to Berlin and runs into The Eye on a park bench. He almost does not recognize him since he has changed so much. Although he had changed in appearance he was still the same man he has always been.

After he runs into the Eye we learn of the story about where the Eye has been and what he has seen. The story took place in India and was horrible. The Eye ended up taking pictures of prostitutes until the pimps realized he was a homosexual. After this they took him to the worst scene. He witnessed young boys being castrated. The Eye then says, "I took a photo of him. I knew I was damning myself for all eternity, but I did it."(page 115) This startled me. I couldn't believe The Eye would do something this drastic when these are young boys that he actually cares about. The story goes on to talk about The Eye taking the boys with him and away from the horrible things happening to them there. My favorite part of this story was, "Instead of calling him father, he had the boys call him The Eye,"(page 118). He used this name to keep out of trouble, but it also comes across as the name relating to him. The Eye is the one who now watches over the boys, he is their Eye. He is also living for the boys, without them he cannot seem to get through. Overall, the story was very interesting and there were a lot of great quotes and ideas that came from the whole story.

The next story "The Savage Detectives" relates a lot to "The Eye". Within the first few lines it is clear that this is yet another hard story to tell and deals with Latin Americans just like the last. These two guys are like the two in the last story. They become friends by chance and learn about each others lives. Jacobo Urenda says,"and then they vanish in a cloud of smoke, the way Belano vanished that night, without warning."(page 497). This reminded me of what happened to The Eye in the first story. They both disappear for an amount of time and they end up finding each other later on. The story goes on to talk about Belano and his obsession with taking pills. He is in very good health and takes pills on a regular basis. Urenda beings to travel and hopes to run into Belano again.

Later in the story Urenda meets a man, Linke, who had heard of Belano and even met him. He recalls his lack of wanting to drink, which is what stood out most to him. Urenda seems to be living through other people who have come across his long lost friend. Jacobo Urenda later photographs him and his friends along with driver. I found the quote, "The pain was worse than the certainty that the Italian was dead."(page 507). This was interesting to me. Urenda fell asleep and ends up having a horrible dream, which he wakes from covered in sweat. The story goes on with the guys traveling in the car. Belano then reappears. Urenda realizes he is still the same guy as before and he hasn't changed at all. He questions that maybe in fact he himself is the one that has changed.

Urenda begins to talk with Belano and introduces him to all of his friends. Overall, the stories are very similar. I enjoyed the first story more so than the second just because I was able to get into it more. Both stories were very interesting and brought up unique happenings.

"The Lazarus Project" last part blog

The last section of "The Lazarus Project" started off describing a brutal scene that Lazarus was having to witness. Lazarus was witnessing a man being brutally killed during the Pogrom, "Seryozhka stepped on his face with a boot, cracked Mr. Mandelbaum's skull."(page 241) . This shows how brutal the killing is that Lazarus is having to watch happen. Lazarus is to young to see something this terrible happen to someone. This killing shows how bad the pogrom really was and how they did not care for others.

The story goes on to talk about how Olga does not want to discuss what is happening in the house with the pogrom is there and the horrible effect it has on the family. In the next part of the story there is a very interesting part that comes about. Rora talks about when he saw, "a magic carpet flying across the river. It was a blue-and-white piece of UNPROFOR nylon, but still I could not stop seeing it as a magic carpet."(page 253). This is interesting because it can relate back to when Lazarus was a boy and imagined himself on a magic carpet. This carpet has a very significant meaning. The carpet can symbolizes the people who just want to get away from the world and the struggles they are having to life with. This is there escape from the world and everything around them.

Later on in the story, Brik discusses how he can't decide wether or not to say something while riding in the car with Seryozha. Brik ends up not doing anything even though he knew he should have. Further into the story, Brik does end up doing something. He ends up beating Seryozha up in the bathroom pretty bad. He says, "I felt his bones cracking under my knuckles, but I kept punching until his jaw was crushed, until my hand was finally and thoroughly broken."(page 264). This shows the drastic scene that happened in the bathroom. Brik goes on to say how he wished Mary would have scene what he did. He has reached his breaking point in this section. Brik needs to get out of the country and away from the horrible things that are happening. He wants to find something better and not have to worry anymore.

In the next section, Olga decides to not live in regret over Lazarus's death anymore. She decides she wants to help Isador. One of my favorite parts in the part was when Olga writes to her mother. She says, "You must forgive me for what I have done, but I chose life over death. God will take care of the dead. We have to take care of the living."(page 272) This shows that Olga is able to move on. Although she will not forget about Lazarus, she will be able to continue on in her life and help others who are in need. Olga will be able to help others who were like Lazarus.

In the end, it was interesting to find that Rora's story involving Miller and Rambo was just made up. From Rora having a troubled past it is easier to see that the whole story would be made up. By making the story up it makes parts of Rora's life easier to live with.

"The Lazarus Project" part 3 blog

Throughout "The Lazarus Project" by Aleksandar Hemon, there were many connections being made. This section starts off with an autopsy being performed and an informative list of all the wounds Lazarus received during his death. There are several descriptions made to what the man looked like all leading to him being Jewish. The assistant chief then goes on to say, "They are creatures of a different world"(page 88). He is referring to all Jews. After saying this remark, William P. Miller agrees with him. By the assistant chief and Miller making this comment they are reinforcing their hate and views on these characters.

The story then moves on to discuss the story of Olga. The story starts off by focusing on her thoughts and how she deals with the lose of her brother, Lazarus. Olga seems to write her mother frequently to show her emotions and struggles with her recent loss. She soon runs to the outhouse and finds the dictionary Lazarus used to read while being in there. Olga says, "The book is warm, as though Lazarus has just held it, his life still radiating out of it."(page 91) From this we can see how she still wants to be connected to her brother. Olga is struggling with her loss and needs to have something that her brother held dear to him. Since the dictionary is something her brother enjoyed so much she feels as if he is still a part of it. Soon after Olga says, "My little brother. All the lives he could have lived."(page 91) Olga is remembering all the times they had together and how she was such a huge part of his life. She was able to help him in school and knew that one day he would do great things with his life.

At the end of the section I found it shocking when Lazarus showed up at the door. When I first read this part I though Olga was having a dream and just wishing her brother was really there or that she was to the point where she could not except her brother really being gone. This part shows the emotional torment Olga is having to experience. She is realizing how hard it is going to be to live without her brother, who was so close to her.

When the story shifts back to the present we learn that Brik and Rora are taking a journey through Eastern Europe. While they were driving they passed, "a horse cart with a cage full of rabbits, the man holding the reins slouching like a refugee."(page 100). This shows how different certain areas can be. Even though we all live in a well developed area not all people are as fortunate as us. I also found it interesting when Brik is talking about Americans not believing stories when they hear them. However, those in other countries like Bosnia do not look at the reality of the story but enjoy the story while it is being told. People in these places probably try to believe the stories to escape how reality really is. They want to be free even if it is only for a few moments. These people want to forget about their hard days of work and know that somewhere out there times are not as hard.

Miller soon goes on to talk about the Jewish people in an impolite way. Once he is around them longer he tends to say more and more hateful things and look down upon them. All of his outlooks on these people and those in the poor communities is overwhelming. I would think once he has been around these people long enough he would change his out looks on them. Over all, I have found this reading very interesting so far and will enjoy seeing what happens in the later parts of the story.

"The Bridegroom" blog

I found the story, "The Bridegroom" by Ha Jin to be very interesting. Right off the bat we learn that Beina's father has passed away and it was his wish for his best friend to adopt her since him and his wife had no children. He starts off by being worried that Beina will never marry because she is already 23 and has never even had a boyfriend, but then out of the blue she is proposed to. The guys name is Huang Baowen and no one knows why he would ask Beina, considering she is just an ordinary plan girl and he is very attractive and smart.

Even after them being engaged he couldn't help but feel she might get hurt because the whole situation was to good to be true. They ended up being married just two months after he has proposed. I myself think this is way to soon to get married since they have only been together two months. He says, "I'd do almost anything to make Beina's marriage a succuess, because I believed that if it survived the first two years, it might last decades"(page 93). When he says this you can tell that he still has doubt in the whole situation. He wants to do whatever he can to make his adopted daughter happy and to stay happy. There were tons of girls in the office that liked Baowen and would do anything to be with him, which worried Beina's uncle.

Next thing we know Baowen ends up not coming home one night and Beina has no idea where he was. We soon find out that he has been charged, along with many others, in a crime of homosexuality. He says, "According to the detectives' account, it was a bizarre, emotional scene"(page 96). From the description it is clear that no one understands why Baowen would do this and Beina's father finds it very disturbing. Baowen says, "Whenever I'm with a woman my heart is as calm as a stone"(page 97), I found this quote interesting because it shows that when he is with women he doesn't feel anything but he doesn't know why this is.

In the next few pages we see that Beina's uncle finds out about the agreement to the marriage and how rumors spread throughout the office. Beina tells her uncle how she likes being married to him even if he is the way he is because she doesn't have to worry about him looking at other women. We come to find out that Baowen is transferred to a mental hospital instead of being in jail, from what Beina's uncle had done. Then after visiting Baowen at the mental institution and seeing what goes on he says, "My heart was full of pity for Baowen. He was such a fine young man that he ought to be able to love a woman, have a family, and enjoy a normal life"(page 107), this shows Beina's uncles acceptance of Baowen. He knows that he can't help who he is and wants him to be able to be fixed.

Beina continues to make visits to see Baowen in the mental hospital and takes him presents when she goes. Her uncle says, "He was happy to see Beina and even cuddled her in my presence."(page 109) this shows that hopefully the treatment is working some or at least he realizes what a good wife he has for understanding who he is. Soon enough Beina's uncle finds out there is no cure for homosexuality and is shocked. All this time he thought his son-in-law was getting treated so he would love his wife but in fact it isn't possible. "Homosexuality isn't an illness, so how can it have a cure?'(page 111) this shows that even though Beina's uncle wants Baowen to get rid of what he has there really is no way for that to happen. Just like Dr. Mai said there is not a cure for it. Homosexuality is something people just have and can not help how they feel.

"After Cowboy Chicken Came to Town" blog

After reading "After Cowboy Chicken Came to Town" by Ha Jin I felt that it related to many of the other stories we have talked about lately. The story dealt a lot with the clashing of cultures and relationships. In this story we come across both American and Chinese cultures in a some what humorous way that makes the story interesting. I found it interesting when the man at the restaurant had a problem with his meal, "The man looked unhappy but accepted the offer. Still he muttered, "American dogs.""(page 185). I found this quote interesting since he referred to the chinese workers as "American dogs". This seemed very hurtful and uncalled for.

In the next part of the story it was easy to tell that Mr. Shapiro was not nice to his Chinese workers but wanted the best for his customers. He is an American man who has all Chinese workers. I found it interesting when it talks about the American boss being lazy once the business actually became something. "At first Mr. Shapiro worked hard, often staying around until we closed at ten-thirty. But as the business was flourishing, he hung back more and stayed in his office for hours on end,"(page 189-190). This shows that once his business actually got going good he decided to become lazy and not do his job as well. Mr. Shapiro probably feels that he already has the money so he doens't need to work as hard. I feel this is very different from how his Chinese workers are and even those in China today. They all want to be successful at what they do at all times. Also, the part when MR. Shapiro takes some of the girl workers out on dates I found wrong. He is a lot older then the girls and they probably feel obligated to go since it is their boss and they do not want to be fired.

Throughout the next part we learn about the boss wanting to turn the restaurant into a buffet. All the workers except the manager, Peter, think it is a great idea. I liked when they referred to Mr. Shapiro as a "skinflint"(page 193) which means someone who tries to spend as little money as possible. When we find out that the employees are not allowed any discount on the food, I found it unreasonable. They are working for him as hard as they can and all he does is sit in his office and he can't even give them a discount on food.

The funniest part of the story to me was when Peter got a phone call from son of the president of Muji Teachers College who wanted to have his wedding feast at the restaurant. He said, "he wanted something exotic for their wedding dinner, so he picked Cowboy Chicken."(page 199). I think this would be the last place I would call exotic. I don't see who would want to have their wedding dinner at a fried chicken restaurant. This just shows a change in how our cultures work. Somethings we see as being not so great and amazing in their eyes.

The situation of the boss taking the younger girls on dates soon comes up again. Juju tells her co-workers that their boss has "gotten fresh with her the previous night"(page 206). She goes on to say, "He had grasped her wrist and called her "Honey""(page 206). which shows how uncomfortable the girl was with the older man. I feel in our society today this would have not been such a huge ordeal. When the guys are telling her she should report it to the police when clearly the boss didn't even do anything to serious and had also been drinking. This shows another difference in the American and Chinese culture. Although if was wrong of him to grab her wrist she should not feel the need to report it to the cops.

The section of the story when it talked about burning the leftover chicken also struck me as a little ridiculous. The leftovers should not just be burned but possibly given to those who are needy or even given away to the fellow workers. This method of burning the chicken is showing them being wasteful. There are many people in the world who are starving and here they are just burning perfectly good food that could go to those who need it. Americans are seen as being wasteful which in some aspects is very true. In the last part of the story I was able to see another time of the cultures clashing. When Mr. Shapiro thinks the workers' are going to bomb the restaurant this is a clear misunderstanding between the two cultures. The American boss misinterprets what is being done and should not fall to this type of conclusion.

"The Stones of Summer" blog

Today in class we watched a documentary about a man who loves to read and is searching for the author of his favorite book called, "The Stones of Summer", who apparently disappeared after writing his one novel.  Mark wants to find the author so he can ask him questions about his book.  The book is not well known, so he does not have many ways of being able to find the author.  "The Stones of Summer" was written in 1972, which makes it that much harder for Mark to find out about who the author is and what the book means.  Mark realizes the book only has one review, which makes his search even harder.

When Mark got the book he did not read it at first.  He would try to read "The Stones of Summer", and just couldn't get into the novel.  Later on he picked it up again and told himself he had to read it.  He read it over 6 weeks and found that he really enjoyed it and found it fascinating.  Since Mark felt so connected to the story, he decided he needed to find out more about the author and talk about his amazing writing.  He made it clear that the book brought back his childhood.  While growing up Mark loved to read and books themselves are what changed him as a person.  He admits that he does not remember much about his childhood, but could tell you everything about all the books he read.  Mark decided to go see his mom to find out more about his childhood.  After finding out more about his childhood, you can really tell books were a major part of it.  Marks mom even recalled him always carrying a book in his back pocket.

Mark describes how he loved the time spent in the libraries just looking at all the books, but how in today's society many people resort to the computer and internet.  He seems to be saying that everyone is missing out on the true reading experience.  As a child, Mark was happy when he walked 45 minutes to the nearest book store and would just sit on the floor looking at every book they had.  He was able to use his imagination through the books, instead of through video games like the kids today.  I find it amazing how the times have changed over the years.  I for one can say I did not become a fan of reading until I came to college.  I really enjoyed when he said that reading is the only thing that has kept him sane.  Reading is such a huge part of his life he doesn't know what he would do without it.

He starts talking about how his life is stressful with his job, and how he needs the time to just read a good book.  I also really liked when he talked about how the place becomes a book and the book becomes a place.  This shows that even when he is at work he can think of a situation in which it is part of a novel.  Reading has captured a huge part of his life and will always be there.  I find his love for reading really interesting, because he can take a bad day at work and make it a great one just from opening a book.  

Mark goes to visit John who wrote the only review for "The Stones of Summer".  I found it very interesting how much the two men had in common just from reading the same books.  Mark even comments on how he feels like he has known John for many years just from their interests in the same books.  I really enjoyed when John was saying that even if it is a great book that doesn't mean you have to like it.  I also enjoyed when Mark mentioned "The Catcher and the Rye", because I read this in high school.  I could relate to some of the great works he was mentioning.  I am interested to see how this documentary plays out and what Mark will find out about the mysterious book that no one seems to know anything about.

"The Same River Twice" final blog

In this last section of Chris Offutt's Memoir, he discusses where he has traveled to and finally becoming a father.  Offutt starts off hitch hiking and comes to a spot where he finds it takes a long time to get a ride.  Written on the metal sign is past hitch hikers who have waited for days before a ride picked them up.  He says, "facing the flip side of freedom-the numb despair of immobility."(page 154) he is saying how he feels sense it could take him forever to get a ride.  Offutt does not want to be stuck in one place waiting, he wants to move on with his life and keep going.  He finally receives a ride and is heading to Florida, where he gets a job at a park in the everglades.  

When Bucky picks him up to take him to his job at the everglades he tells Offutt, "you don't look too natural for a Naturalist."(page 155)  Looking at his appearance he makes the observation that he does not resemble a naturalist.  Once they arrive Bucky tells Offutt "Don't let the swamp in."(page 156) he is referring to all the mosquitoes that are flying around.  I really enjoyed when Offutt said, "I had voluntarily entered the most hostile environment known to man."(page 157).  On his own free will he has chosen a job that is in some aspects horrible.  He is being attacked by mosquitoes and learning about his new surroundings.  He says,"a hundred and fifty bites per day.  I soon developed something of an immunity."(page 158), he is having to get used to the new atmosphere even if it is less than expected.  

Offutt soon learns that the work at the everglades is not so great and rather dehumanizing.  He says, "We were de-evolved humans who'd chosen proximity to the foundations of our existence, living on neither land nor water, but in a foreign world of both."(page 160).  This is a great quote to show what he is having to live with at the job.  Living at the Flamingo shows the harsh nature of what they live with, the horrible food they have to eat, and the hard work put in everyday.  Although these are all struggles, Offutt makes great effort to continue on.  One of the great visual quotes I found in the reading was when Offutt says, "vulnerable and lonely, as if they'd been beached by tide rather than built by man."(page 162).  Here Offutt is telling of how the buildings look in Flamingo from the sea.  All the buildings seem to be run down and very old.  

Captain Jack soon goes with Offutt on his first boat outing.  After working together Captain Jack invites Offutt over for dinner saying his wife would be thrilled to have company.  We soon find out that they have lost their own son in war.  Offutt is asked to stay the night and after being given the talk about the Captains son he feels bad to be staying in his room.  He says,"I turned off the light and stood beside the bed for a long time...and slept on the floor"(page 166).  From this we can tell that Offutt feels bad for their loss and feels it is wrong to stay in the bed where their only son once was.  

Soon we hear of Jacob, the hurricane that heading for Flamingo.  Offutt has been tracking the hurricane and graphing where it is suppose to go.  He compares his graphing with the one at the ranger station.  He says, "Instead of finding my error, I discovered the ranger's mistake."(page 168) Offutt has found that the hurricane is heading straight for them and not hundreds of miles away like the rangers thought.  Once finding this news out the rangers quickly evacuate everyone from the island.  He goes on to talking about writing up his own will and giving everything to his brother.  Offutt is ready for death and is not afraid.  He soon realizes that he will not be faced with death because the hurricane is over.  He says, " disappointed to be stuck with life."(page 171) which shows that he was ready to go but now seems upset it did not happen.  

After this he quits at Flamingo and leaves with Dirt who also quit.  Dirt takes him to Florida city.  He asks for Offutt's drivers license since he knows people will be after him.  Once giving this to him he says, "I watched the proof of who I was drive into the street, turn a corner, and disappear."(page 174).  This shows Offutt's proof of existence in the world being taken away from him.  After this he ends up meeting Rita.  My favorite part of this section was when he said,"We held hands in that narrow space between the two worlds of past and present."(page 176).  He goes on to talk about how his family loved Rita and knew she would be good for him.  Offutt then says,"I had my goddess.  I had my temple.  The prairie spread in every direction."(page 177) this shows that he has what he wants in his life.  Offutt has a loving wife, a great house, and everything is turning out the way it should.

The baby is now finally ready to come into the world.  After being two weeks overdue, Offutt is worried about how the baby will turn out.  He knows the baby should be fine since Rita is in great health.  Offutt goes on to say, "Only war and birth erupt on their own,"(page 178) He knows the baby has to come at its own time but wants it to happen soon.  He is still worried about not being free but knows the life as a dad will be rewarding.  Rita finally has the babe and it turns out to be a boy just like they wanted.  Offutt says, "His birth was my rebirth."(page 185).  I feel he is trying to say that since he is now a new father he has a new beginning in life.  He wants to start fresh and make sure the baby has a great life.  In the end he says, "Nothing has changed except everything."(page 188) this goes back to what Rita had said earlier on about everything has changed.  He now realizes that his life will be completely different.  Overall I really enjoyed this book.  It has been my favorite read thus far.  

"The Same River Twice" part 3 blog

            This section starts off with Offutt taking about the baby coming soon.  He says, "If the baby doesn't volunteer soon,"(page110), I found this humorous.  Offutt goes on to say, "A month later the brain doubles, increasing its capacity to dream."(page 110), and then goes into a dream he has had the night before.  I enjoyed this quote because he is wanting his unborn child to be able to dream.  When getting to the part about the juice spilling in the bed and Offutt thinking it was part of his wife and something was wrong with the baby he says, "Laughter arrived, always overdue, evidence of life."(page 111).  This was one of my favorite quotes.  I found that Offutt feels there is not enough laughter in their lives but you have to have good times to keep going.  Even though they have had stressful times with the baby, he is glad to know everything is still fine and they are still happy.

         The next part Offutt is talking about wanting a boy.  He does make it clear that if they do have a son he does not want him to turn out like he did.  While he is out thinking about what his child might be he says, "The fox is watching me watch my thoughts."(page 113).  I found this quote interesting.  He sees the fox watching what he is doing, while he still thinks about what his future holds.  Then he says, "Very soon my freedom will end.  No one is perfect but fathers are expected to be.(page 113).  From this he is saying that once the baby comes he will not be free anymore.  He has a responsibility as a new father.  I feel the part about fathers being perfect is suppose to mean that he wants the best for his child and does not want to mess anything up.  The ending part of this chapter caught my attention.  Offutt is telling Rita that he thinks "nothing matters" but she says, "Everything matters now, More than ever"(page 114).  From this I feel Rita is trying to tell him that once the baby comes their lives will change.  They have to watcher every step they make with the baby and be extra careful.  

         The next chapter is when Offutt meets Shadrack, who is his roommate.  He says, "I had quit painting to write, and he was a poet who now painted."(page 115).  I found this somewhat funny because they both just switched places.  They found what they liked to do from each other.  He says, "We were inverted Siamese twins, connected at theintellect."(page 115) this furthers the meaning of the first quote when they switched what they did as a living.  The both found their joy in what the other had been doing.  He goes on to talk about the jobs he had in Salem which included working at a car wash, a landscaper, and even selling flowers.  I enjoyed when he says, "now decayed and gift-wrapped like a mummy's womb."(page 116) this shows how old the town is and what it looks like.  

         The next part I found interesting was when he is talking about not knowing distant relatives, he says, "I had no history behind my father, no love beyond my mother."(page 120).  This shows that he is not familiar with any of his relatives and from this he feels that no one really loves him beyond his parents.  I think he says this because his relatives don't really know who he is anyways.  Offutt goes on to talk about his brother who is getting married and wants him to be the best man.  His brother comes to visit him and sees how he is living, which is not so great.  He says, "You're to young to get married." and his brother replies, "maybe, but you are to old to live like this."(page 122).  I felt this was a great quote because he is allowing his brother to realize he shouldn't be living how he is at his age.  Even though his brother maybe to young to get married he has a steady job and makes good money.  Offutt is barely making it by and still is drinking and partying with his friends instead of sticking with a real job.

         When he is at home Offutt says, "He was losing his family to the outside world and there was no replacement."(page 123).  This shows his fathers emotion.  He knows he is losing his children one at a time and knows the house is soon to be empty.  Offutt is off living his life alone and his younger brother is not getting married.  His father feels that everyone is growing up to fast and does not want to come to the realization that his family is slowly falling apart.  He later says, "Though I'd left first, he no longer needed me. I resented the loss."(page 125).  Here he is talking about his brother and how even though he left the house first he is upset that his brother no longer needs him.  Offutt feels that since he is the old brother his younger brother should still need him, but he has to realize that his brother has grown up much faster than himself.

            He then goes back to talking about Rita and the baby.  When he is talking about the placenta he says, “I hurry home, reminding myself that the placenta is stronger and more complex than a spacesuit.  It girdles the baby as the earth once protected all of humanity.”(page 133)  Although he is worried about Rita he realizes she is really strong enough to take care of herself.  Her body is its own mind with the baby and there is not much he could do for her. I found all the inferences to Rita and the baby amazing.  He uses great language to describe the baby and when it is about to come.  I have really enjoyed this reading so far and can say I fell it is the best book so far.

"The Same River Twice" part 1 blog

Throughout reading "The Same River Twice" by Chris Offutt I found it very interesting.  Within the first paragraph I found the writing to be very descriptive.  He says, "the ripples left by forgotten tides"(page 9).  I feel he is trying to say that some things happen and are always forgotten, but maybe they shouldn't be.  I enjoyed him writing about the outdoors and his experiences.  He says, "Cloud shadows are great fish moving swiftly overhead."(page 9) from this you can tell he is probably laying outside looking up at the moving clouds.  I enjoyed this quote because it reminded me of my childhood and something we would do as kids.

The book starts off with a Prologue where Offutt describes nature and its ability to have great power.  He talks about how nature will always be here wether we are here or not, and how it has always been here even before us.  This shows how great nature is and one shouldn't mess with its ability.  I find his quote, "I should be a rock sculptor, carving a mighty pantheon to rival the debris we left on the moon."(page 10) very interesting.  I feel he is trying to show the change over generations through living on earth.  

Through the reading he talks about his home and being married to Rita.  I found his description of Iowa interesting.  When he says, "Farmers have used the land so long that the richest soil in the nation is just old dirt."(page 11) I felt he was describing how much they use their land for agriculture very well.  I found it amusing when he had to ask his wife three different times to marry him, and the only time she said yes was on the morning of her birthday when she has just woken up.  He goes on to talk about their attempts at having a child.  He uses this part to show humor in his writing.  He says, "DNA merged into the corkscrew that resembled the Milky Way's spiral, Hermes' Staff, the swift helix of infant birth."(page 16).  I felt he uses great language in this quote, especially being a redneck from Kentucky.

  When describing his home town he says, "My hometown is a zip code with a creek."(page 19) I really liked this quote because it allows us to see how small his town was.  One of my favorite quotes was when he said, "The completed road linked the world to the hills, but failed to connect us to the world."(page 20).  He uses this to explain how no one ever gets out of the small town.  If you life there you will probably stay there and not have a chance to go outside into the unknown world.  I felt it was a pretty quick change for him leaving into the real world.  When he says, "I felt bad being the first to erode the family, though I had already been at it for awhile."(page 21), this definitely shows his will to get out of the small town and become his own person and have his own life.

When he got out of the town and into the city I thought it was interesting that he found somethings still to be the same.  He had a hard time fitting in and finding his place in the city.  I found it entertaining when he had mistaken the women in the laundromat.  He thinks they are from Harlem just because they are black and he soon finds out he is very wrong.  Not just that they are from Puerto Rico but also they have been speaking spanish and he has just figured out the language.  All along he had thought it was some strange dialect.  I found the situation with the hermaphrodite very disturbing but also thought of it as a situation one might be faced with being from such a small town.  He is having to figure out his new surroundings and has to learn from his mistakes.

His relationship with Jahi was very interesting.  He seemed to learn a lot from her.  I also felt that she allowed him to figure out more of who he was.  He says, "Some of the pages held my full name and place of birth on every line to remind me that I lived."(page 34).  I felt he is saying that he felt more alive when he was at home rather than in the city somewhat alone.  Even though he has Jahi, I feel he is second guessing himself.  After reading all about her embarrassing or always making fun of him in public, I felt bad for him.  I was really proud of him when he said, "I hung up on her laughter and never saw her again."(page 37).  From this we can tell that he is standing up for himself and not following what others say or feel about him. Another part I liked a lot was when he was talking about him and his roommates and said, "We were all foreigners in the land of the free."(page 45).  I felt he is saying that even though we are all different we are free to be who we want to be.  We can all come together and get along fine just by being ourselves.       

Stop-Go Analysis

GO(I like this):

Thus far in English 215 I have really enjoyed the class.  I feel the in class discussions really help everyone understand the reading material better.  After reading a section I sometimes feel that I do not grasp what happened, which helps when we go over the material in class.  I really like the class readings.  I think all the readings are very interesting and make for good discussion.  The syllabus is structured well.  The amount of work given is just enough for the class.  The amount of reading for each class is not to much or to little.  My favorite piece of writing so far has been, "Glengarry Glen Ross" by David Mamet.  I felt the play was very interesting and enjoyable to read.  I feel the blogging section of the class really helps me understand the readings better.  I am able to really think about what is happening in the readings and understand the meaning in depth.

YIELD (things we should do more often):

I really don't have much to say in this section.  I feel like everything we do is fine.  We blog enough for each week, if we did anymore it would probably be a little to much.  This at least goes for those that blog two to three times a week.  I did enjoy when we got to watch part of the movie to the play.  It allowed me to really understand the reading and see what was going on.  The elimination of "The Music of Chance" does not upset me that much.  I feel I will probably still read it and blog just because I have it.  This change does help my work load with all the other work i'm having to do in other classes.  

STOP (please no more):

This is another section that I do not have much to write about.  I have really enjoyed the class so far.  I did however not really enjoy "Lolita".  I do not think this means you should get ride of it I just found it to be inappropriate at parts.  I know there is more to it than just those parts, but I was not to into the book.  I also found "Howl" to be a tough read.  I found it hard to understand what was going on and interpret what the reader was saying.  Yet again I do not think it should be taken away from the readings.  I think many people can get a lot out of both of these.  

"Glengarry Glen Ross" Part two Blog

During the next part of the play I was somewhat confused but then figured out that Roma wanted Levene to pretend to be a client.  During the next little while Levene and Roma go back and forth with Levene pretending to be a D. Ray Morton.  It seemed that Levene was a little lost in what to say when he says, " No...Black Creek. Yes.  In Flordia?"(page 79).  I felt that Roma was having to say more and keep it going because Levene was about to ruin the act.  Lingk has no idea what is going on but needs to talk to Roma about what his wife has told him, but Roma does not want to listen.  Then Lingk says, "My wife said I have to cancel the deal"(page 82).  Once he says this Roma understands his wife's concern and tries to leave it at that.  Then Lingk tells him about his wife calling the Attorney and only having three days.  Once this is said I feel that Roma was in somewhat of a panic.  He tries to mess with Lingk about when the three days are up but he is smarter than that.

I found the next part to be funny because the Baylen comes back out and wants to speak to Levene, who is still pretending to be D. Ray Morton.  While deciding what to do, Aaronow comes out of the room mad.  He says, "I'm through, with this fucking meshugaas.  No one should talk to a man that way."(page 87).  From this we can tell that he is very frustrated with how the Baylen treated him in his interrogation.  During this, Levene rushes into the room with the Baylen so Lingk does not have time to figure out he is really not D. Ray Morton.  The Baylen soon comes out and wants to talk with Roma again who obviously gets mad at this.  He says, "It's not me that ripped the joint off, I'm doing business."(page 91).  Roma is clearly trying to talk with Lingk about his situation but is being interrupted and is getting annoyed about it.  

The next part was definitely my favorite.  Lingk goes on to tell Roma he does not have the power to work on the deal.  He is suppose to do what his wife has told him to and not listen to Roma.  Roma then gives Lingk an outlook on life and his marriage.  He says," Your life is your own.  You have a contract with your wife. You have certain things you do jointly, you have a bond there...and there are other things.  Those things are yours."(page 93).  Roma is trying to tell Lingk that although his wife is telling him to do something the decisions is also his choice.  He can make decisions on his own and not always have to follow his wife.  He also wants the deal to work out for him.  In this case he is also using his kind words for his own advantage.  

After this Williamson comes to wonder about how Levene knew of the contract.  He says,"Now how did you know that contract was on my desk?"(page 99).  I feel this kind of startled Levene but just went off on him saying he was wrong.  Williamson then says, "You robbed the office."(page 99).  Soon enough Williamson gets it out of Levene that he sure enough robbed the office.  He tells Levene if he tells him what he did with them he will not tell the Baylen anything.  He just wants to know from Levene himself what happened.  Levene tells him he sold them to Jerry Graff and then explains the price situation.  Levene says, "But it taught me something. What it taught me, that you've got to get out there."(page 101) he is saying that from the robbery he has learned a lot and feels it will help in become a better salesman.  

Once Williamson finds all this information out he says, "You've got a big mouth, and now I'm going to show you an even bigger one."(page 102) this shows that even though he said he wasn't going to turn him in he is definitely going to.  He wants to turn Levene in because he does not like him.  No matter what Levene offers Williamson he will not change his mind.  This worries Levene who knows he is about to get turned in.  Levene also finds out the huge sale he had made is worthless.  The men only like talking to salesmen but never follow through and the checks never clear.  Levene says, "John:...my daughter..."(page 104) this goes back to the beginning when he keeps trying to start a sob story with his daughter, but Williamson is not going to take it.  He does not care what Levene has to say anymore he just wants to turn him in.  

Roma then comes out from talking with the baylen and proceeds to tell Levene, "We are the members of a dying breed."(page 105) he wants them to become partners and work together.  However Roma does not know that Levene is the criminal and is being turned in that very moment.  Levene is soon called in to talk with the baylen and Roma is still clueless.  He tells Williamson of his plans but Williamson just tells him not to worry about it.  The play ends with Aaronow asking if they have caught the man that broke in but all Roma says is he doesn't know.  Although Williamson and Levene know of what happened they do not say anything to Roma or anyone else.  All together I felt this was a very interesting play and enjoyed reading it.

"Glengarry Glen Ross" Blog

Act one starts off with two men, Levene and Williamson, in a restaurant.  Williamson is Levene's boss.  Levene is trying to sell real estate but has had a hard time making his sales lately and has been on a bad streak.  He says, "I pray in your life you will never find it runs in streaks."(page 16) I found this as a notion for Williamson to give Levene a break.  Levene wants him to realize he is going through a bad streak but that it will soon be broken and just wants the right lead to prove it to him.  He goes on to explain that he really needs a better lead so he can get on the board.  If Levene does not make it on the board he realizes that he will be fired and can't afford to have this happen to him. He says, "I need them now.  Or I'm gone, and you're going to miss me, John, I swear to you."(page 18), he is trying to prove to Williamson that he needs him in the business.  Even though he is on a bad streak right now he was and still is a great salesman.  Levene is trying to make Williamson realize he will be losing a great salesman if he is fired.

The play goes on with Williamson telling Levene is is truly against company policy for him to just hand him the better leads.  He says, "anybody falls below a certain mark I'm not permitted to give them the premium leads."(page 19) he is trying to tell Levene that you must be on the board to be considered for the top leads.  He is not just allowed to hand them over.  He needs to realize he has to work hard to receive the better leads.  I really liked the line when Levene says, "you're giving me toilet paper."(page 21) showing that the leads he has been giving  aren't worth anything.  The only way he can get Williamson to consider giving him a better lead is by trying to offer him a percentage of his sales.  After debating this over Williamson only agrees if he gets 20 percent and 50 dollars for each lead.  Levene tries to argue this but knows he has to consider ever option or he will be fired.  Then Williamson asks for part of the money that day but Levene does not have the cash on him, making Williamson change his mind.  When Levene says, "my daughter..."(page26) I felt he was trying to start a pity story to try and get him to change his mind but Williamson does not fall for it and ends up leaving the restaurant.

The next scene switches to two other sales men, Moss and Aaronow, who are talking about customers that they do not like.  Moss starts the conversation and says, "Polacks and deadbeats."(page 28).  Polacks refers to people from Poland and obviously the deadbeats refer to the customers who are not buying.  Moss goes on to say,"don't ever try to sell an Indian."(page 29). They feel that Indians never buy anything so really it is a waste of their time to even try selling to them.  All they want to do is talk to them instead of really focusing on buying.  Later on he also talks of someone hurting the men in charge of the company and says, "Someone should rob the office"(page 38).  He feels this is necessary because he does not find it fair the way they run the office.  The difference in prizes received at the end of the selling period is a bit extreme.  I also think if is harsh to fire the two lowest in sales because some people may be like Levene and Aaronow and just be having a bad streak.

I found scene three to be every different from the other two.  This scene came across in a much more direct and profound way.  Roma starts asking many different questions and answering them all himself.  When he says, "You fuck little girls, so be it."(page 47) it reminded me right about of the other stories we have read.  "Lolita" being the first.  I found all his questions to himself to be very direct and in some ways horrible to think about.  I also noticed Lingk does not talk much at all throughout the scene.  Most of the talking is done by Roma and his out look on life.  I really liked when he said, "The true reserve that I have is the strength that I have of acting each day without fear."(page 49).  I like that he can live like freely and not worry about fear.  

Act 2 was very long but interesting.  The scene starts off with Aaronow and Williamson standing outside the office smoking.  Roma then comes up and freaks out about the contracts and how he closed all of his and should be at the top of the board.  He says, "Then I'm over the fucking top and you owe me a Cadillac."(page 54) I felt this was very strong.  He keeps mentioning the Cadillac and it seems that is all he cares about.  I did like in the next part when Aaronow is saying he isn't good because he hasn't been able to sell any and Roma says, "You're a, hey, you had a bad month.  You're a good man, George."(page 57) .  I liked that he was so reassuring to Aaronow and noticed that even if he hasn't been able to sell many lately he is still good at what he does and just hit a bad month.

During the next part Roma is still talking with Aaronow.  They are talking about having to talk with the cop and tell there story.  Aaronow seems nervous about having to talk to the cops and tells Roma he was not the guy that broke in.  Roma then says, " Then don't sweat it, George, you know why? You have nothing to hide."(page 61) .  I feel Aaronow might have lied considering he was suppose to be the one that broke in.  Roma then says,"Always tell the truth.  It's the easiest thing to remember."(page 61).  When he says this I felt that Aaronow was keeping back what he actually did.  Roma is obviously telling him the right thing to do, but I feel Aaronow is nervous because he knows he has to lie and that he might mess up his story.

We then encounter Levene who in the beginning was having a bad streak but has now broken it.  He comes in raving about selling eight units and it was even to people who were suppose to buy for some of the other guys.  He says, "...you have to believe in yourself..."(page 67).  To me I felt that since he finally was able to focus on what he needed to happen to be able to keep his job everything finally paid off.  I felt bad for Levene when Williamson says, "The only thing remarkable is who you made it to."(page 75) I felt this was beneath someone to say to him.  He has been working so hard and trying to keep his job and this remark was just a stab in the back.  All together I enjoyed the reading and found it to be a very interesting play.

"River of Names" and "Cathedral" blog

After reading "River of Names" by Dorothy Allison I was somewhat confused at what was happening, but found the writing very interesting.  When he says, "the rope around his neck pulled up into the sunlit heights of the barn, fascinating, horrible."(page 3), I found this to be disturbing only for the fact that the boy was only eight years old.  I do not understand why or how someone so young could kill themselves.  I also found it interesting that he used fascinating and horrible together.  Although it was such a horrible event he saw fascination in it somehow.  Then he says, " thick blood ran down her legs" and "stinking smoke"(page 4) both of these give reference to what had happened to his cousin.  We are able to see the blood in our minds and think of how badly the smoke would smell.  

Throughout this reading I found it interesting how large of a family they have and how if someone goes missing or dies they really do not miss them.  He says,"They died and were not missed"(page 5) I thought this could mean that since so many people pass away in his family and it normally seems to happen because they do it to themselves that everyone just stopped caring.  I feel like it came to be a usual thing to happen in the family so they just got used to it.  When it mentioned Greenville and Greer I was excited just because I am familiar with both of these places by being from Easley.  

In the next part of the story he says, "wasn't funny to me in my mama's bed with my stepfather"(page 6)  this reminded me of both "Home" and "Lolita".  All of these stories are relating to each other through this disturbing detail or adults having relations with children.  Although I realize the difference throughout them all.  I feel his relationship with Jesse really helps him because of how much she loves him.  All these memories are coming to him in his dreams and bringing back his horrible childhood.  He does not want to remember these stories but can't help it.  He then says the story of his Uncle Butch and how he would smell the gasoline in the cars but then one day someone taught him a lesson by lighting a match.  When I read about all these stories that happened in his family I feel bad for him and the things he had to witness as a child.

At the end of the story I was somewhat unhappy with the part about him and his sister with there dad.  From this happening to them they will grow up and not live a life like normal people.  Just like the next part where his sister becomes pregnant and says, "Don't we have a tradition of Bastards?"(page 11).  When she says this she is referring to all the men in her family who have treated them so badly over the years.  My favorite quote came from the last page and that is when he says, "a river of names endlessly repeating.(page 12).  I enjoy this quote because it has the title within it and it explains in sum what he has talked about throughout the whole story.  All the stories and names swimming through his head will never leave.  He will always remember what happened in his childhood.

The next story I read was "Cathedral" by Raymond Carver.  Within the first paragraph I was questioning the man.  Why would he have such a bad outlook on the blind.  He says, "And him being blind bothered me."(page 108) this seems silly to me.  I know it might not be that convent for him to have to deal with but the man is his wife's friend so he should so more respect.  The next part made more since to the first.  After reading about the blind man wanting to touch his wife's face, I found this a little creepy.  I could understand if it was just to remember someone but the way he described touching her neck and then her writing a poem about it.  He says, "She wrote a poem or two every year, usually after something really important had happened to her."(page 109).  This made me feel sad for the husband because obviously Robert was a very important part of her life at some point and time.

Throughout the next part of the story when Robert arrived we learned of his travels and that he was around forty years old.  I found it interesting that he could eat his food so easily and that when they went to talk in the living room the wife sat with Robert on the coach.  This shows a connection between the two especially by the husband sitting away in his chair.  He says, "Every night I smoked dope"(page 119) I found this interesting also because Robert also took part in something the husband enjoyed.  I also found in interesting when Robert told him about the Cathedral him and a friend were drawing.  He is sharing something that is very important to him with the husband who was not sure of him at first.  I also find it interesting because he is blind and can draw what he feels inside.  Over all I enjoyed the first story more because I felt it had an interesting message and enjoyed trying to figure out what was going on.

"Emergency" and "Home" Blog

After reading "Emergency" by Denis Johnson, I was somewhat confused.  I found his writing to be tricky to understand.  I did however, think that Georgie was an interesting person.  He says, "There's so much goop inside of us, and it all just wants to get out."(page 274) I felt he was trying to get at a deeper meaning than just the blood on the floor.  I feel he is trying to say that we all have so much information that no one knows about us inside that we just need to let it out sometimes.  When Georgie is helping with Terrence Weber and the knife accident, I felt this was the starting point of the blind issue brought up throughout the story.  When he says, "Your face is dark.  I can't see what you're saying"(page 276) this to me seems that Georgie is somewhat blind himself.  Wether it be real or a hallucination.  Another part I found interesting was when Terrence Weber said, "Not unless I die"(page 276) in relation to the doctor calling the cops on his wife.  I felt this really showed his love for his wife even after what she had done to him.

 Georgie seems to have some mental issues in the way that he is not all there, but proves wrong when helping others.  I found it very interesting that even though he seems less capable of these hard jobs, he is able to come through and treat others. I found it very interesting when Georgie came out of the operating room with the hunting knife in his hand that had been in the mans eye.  Everyone in the hospital seems to be very shocked at this new discovery, "The talk just dropped off a cliff"(page 278).  This shows that everyone was shocked at what Georgie had done because no one thought he was capable of such a hard task.

When Georgie went on the trip through the country I had a hard time connecting everything from the hospital to this trip.  I found the use of drugs awkward.  Georgie should not be using drugs if he is working in a hospital and especially if he pulled a knife out of a mans eye.  I did however find some connection between the two, "That sudden crispness, and the tang of evergreen stabbing us!"(page 280).  This made me have a flashback to the hospital with the eye incident.  The use of the word stabbing references the man who was stabbed in the eye.  All together I found the story to be interesting but a little hard to follow what was real and what was not.

The next story I read was "Home" by Jayne Anne Phillips.  I found this story to be much easier to understand.  Instead of dealing with Georgie and deciding if parts of the story were actually real or not, this story focused on the past and hurt relationships.  The story begins with a woman who has recently moved back home with her mother.  Once she is home the daughter comes across old photos of her mother.  She discovers that her mother is a totally different person.  Instead of being the girl that used to go out and have fun she had turned into someone who just wants to watch tv.  She says, "painted her lashes too lushly, too long; but her deep red mouth is correct."(page 411).  I found this interesting because it shows that the mother has changed but that some parts of her will always remain the same.

The daughter then goes on to talk about her father and their relationship.  I like when she says, "She married him in two weeks.  It took twenty years to divorce him"(page 412).  I felt the mother did not have time to realize who the person was she was marrying, but once they were married she did not want to leave him.  She also might have been scared to divorce him earlier on.  When the daughter talks of her dream I became disturbed.  From the information in the dream we can tell that she possibly was abused as a child.  She says, "He presses himself against my thigh,"(page 414), which shows her fathers disturbing act on his own child.  When I read this part I thought back to "Lolita" and the situation of the older man taking advantage of the younger girl.  

I feel the girl not only has trouble dealing with the issues of her father but of past relationships she was in.  She talks of Jason who came across as her high school sweetheart and first love.  The speaker then goes on to talk about Daniel.  Daniel seems very interesting but already has his own lover, however the speaker talks him into coming to visit her.  I found the part where she tells him of her father very interesting.  Since she has the bad dreams that seem to result from past situations, I felt this would be a hard subject to talk about with someone else.  The speaker then has sex with Daniel in the house.  The mother soon comes back from church and says she heard them in the bedroom.  This is hard for the mother because she does not want to see her child grow up.  The daughter is also having to deal with her mother always being around since she no longer does anything.  I felt the story really let us understand the struggle in everyday relationships and should how hard life and love can be.

"Lolita" part 4 blog

Humbert finally feels that he has gotten Lolita settled into stable home life, but soon feels uneasy about the situation.  He says, "I often felt we lived in a lighted house of glass"(page 180) this shows that even though they are settled in a home Humbert feels it is easy for the neighbors to find out what is going on.  He is always considering the thought that the neighbors might know or find out about his relationship with Lolita.  He is somewhat paranoid with the whole situation and continues these thoughts throughout their stay at the house.

We soon learn of Humbert's relationship with Gaston Godin who he plays chess with.  With all the neighbors and his new friend Lolita starts learning from the people around her.  She is not secure just by Humbert now, but able to learn about the world and things Humbert might not approve of.  Godin tells Lolita of ways to get her allowance raised, which does not sit well with Humbert.  By Lolita knowing this information she is soon able to be more objective in her actions towards Humbert.  Humbert says, "what I feared most was not that she might ruin me, but that she might accumulate sufficient cash to run away."(page 185) this shows Humbert's worry that Lolita would leave him if she could.  He is scared she has learned to much of what she is capable of doing and that she might follow through with these actions. 

Soon the headmistress at the school calls in Humbert for a meeting.  She is not worried of real education studies with Lolita, but that of her becoming more ladylike.  She is worried that Lolita is not getting enough social experience with the other kids.  From this meeting Humbert is talked into letting Lolita take part in the school play.  Humbert also allowed Lolita to have a party at their house but turned out to not be a success.  

One part I found very interesting was when Lolita asks Humbert if he remembers, "the hotel where you raped me"(page 202).  I found this very interesting because it was the first time throughout the book that Lolita mentions the action of rape.  I feel Lolita might be growing up to the fact that she might not respect Humbert for these actions.  Although Lolita has talked sexual to Humbert we have not been given these exact words yet.  She is becoming her own person and more rebellious as she grows up.  Humbert also mentions later on that, "She said she was sure I had murdered her mother."(page 205) this shows Lolita's rising knowledge as she is growing up and figuring out everything that is going on.  This section also made me feel Humbert is violent and could potentially end up hurting Lolita.

I found it interesting when Humbert says, "There are some things that should never be given up"(page 209).  I feel Humbert is referring to his time with Lolita and wanting to always be with her.  He knows there is only a certain amount of time before she grows up and he wants every minute to last.  Humbert wants their relationship to last and to always be together.  Later on while they are on their road trip Humbert discusses a supposed detective following them.  He seems panicked at not knowing who the person is or what they want.  He says, "But next day, like pain in a fatal disease that comes back as the drug and hope wear off, there it was again behind us, that glossy red beast."(page 219).  The pain of not knowing who or what the person wants is slowly getting to Humbert.  I am also uncertain if their really is a detective following them or if Humbert is so stressed out about the situation that he is now hallucinating.  Humbert could be so wrapped up into all his thoughts that he is stressing himself out over nothing. 

 

"Lolita" Part 2 Blog

Throughout the reading for "Lolita" this time I felt I could understand the reading better.  I was able to understand what Humbert was trying to get across, instead of just being disgusted.  When he says, " I had stolen the honey of a spasm without impairing the morals of a minor."(page 62) I felt he was saying he was pleased with himself and making himself happy when being with Lolita, but did so by not harming the child.  Then Humbert goes into talking about Lolita going off to camp.  He says, "for did it not mean I was losing my darling, just when I had secretly made her mine?"(page 63) even though she isn't his in reality he feels Lolita is a part of him and always will be.  He does not want her to be taken out of his life for to long, considering they only have so long before she grows up.

Humbert clearly cares about Lolita more so than just the lust.  He says, "I knew I had fallen in love with Lolita forever; but I also knew she would not be forever Lolita."(page 65).  I feel although Humbert is in love with Lolita he knows one day she will grow up and be just like the other women he sees everyday.  At this point in time he clearly wants to spend his time with Lolita as long as he can.  He will do anything to be close to her, which brings up the next part of the book.  Humbert soon finds out that Charlotte is in love with him.  He sees this as a way to stay close to his Lolita.  Eventhough he does not feel the same about Lolita's mother he knows this is the best he can do for the situation.  He feels if he can't just be with Lolita why not marry her mother so he can still see her everyday.

We can clearly tell he has fallen for Lolita and would not know what to do without her.  He later says, "She swam beside me, a trustful and clumsy seal, and all the logic of passion screamed in my ear: Now is the time!"(page 87).  Humbert has been debating if he should kill Charlotte so he could just be with Lolita.  Although this is what he wants to do he can't go through with it.  He didn't feel things were as hopeless with Charlotte as the other women he has been with.  

Humbert later says, "We are not sex fiends!...We are unhappy, mild, dog-eyed gentlemen,"(page 88).  He is trying to get across to everyone that he and others alike are not as horrible as we think of them.  He is making a rational statement about who he is.  Even though he has this problem he is not in anyway harming or trying to harm the children.  Humbert has fallen in love and just wants to be happy.  If he sees something he wants he will go after it no matter what it takes.  Even though we could see this as wrong he has no problem with it.

Charlotte is soon out of the picture by Humbert's actions and Humbert is free to be with his Lolita.  He is scared however that when he sees Lolita she will have changed.  He calls the camp telling of the mother in the hospital just to allow time for him and Lolita to have time together.  I will be interested to see how their relationship grows and what happens now that the mother is not there.

"Lolita" Part 1 Blog

When reading the first part of "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov I was very uncomfortable with what I had read.  I felt the book was very hard to read because it was so awkward.  Although the reading showed a man dealing with pedophilia which was interesting, it was disturbing.  Before this class I had never heard of "Lolita" so I was unsure of what to expect.  After understanding what the book was about I was uneasy about reading it.  I did find some of the book very interesting and worth talking about.

The first sentence in "Lolita" explained what the book would be about.  "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins.  My sin, my soul."(page 3).  After reading this sentence I realized the book would be very interesting and that this sentence showed what type of person we were about to discover.  Humbert then goes into all his stories about different young women he had feelings for and their stories.  His first love was with a young girl named Annabel.  He visually describes what he remembers about Annabel and their times together.  "All at once we were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other;"(page 12).  Although Humbert said they were in love we soon find out they failed at making love.  He goes on to talk about many different prostitutes he had been with.  After the prostitutes he discovers his attraction is only for the nymphets.  A nymphet is a young girl who is sexually attractive.  He discovers he enjoys the young girls who are younger then the age of 14.

Humbert speaks in a very descriptive way through some of his thoughts.  He describes the girls and himself in great depth.  I feel he tries to come across as a good man when he uses "exceptionally handsome male" and "soft dark hair"(page 25).  He doesn't want people to think of him any differently just because of his thoughts on younger girls.  Humbert then goes on and describes his vision and meeting of Lolita.  "the vacuum of my soul managed to suck in every detail of her bright beauty"(page 39).  He has finally found his love and the one he has been looking for.  He tries to find the right time to talk to his Lolita but doesn't find the right time till no one else is around.  

When Humbert begins to play with Lolita in his lap I became uneasy.  I felt that even though Nabokov used very descriptive writing the thoughts and things that were done were very wrong.  His description of his sexual feelings were very repulsive.  I felt that even though he is talking about the person he loves and that age doesn't matter it is still an issue in many peoples eyes.  I feel sorry for him.  Even though he loves this girl it comes across as being very wrong and disgusting to the readers.

"Howl" Blog

After reading "Howl" by Allen Ginsberg I was very confused.  I felt the reading was very hard to understand but I attempted to get as much out of it as I could.  The first line was very interesting to me.  "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness,"(page 9).  He feels everyone is so into the social norm that they are not living the lives they should be.  The madness he talks about is how everyone conforms to the same rules.  Within the first page I saw that he used words such as "supernatural darkness" and Black-light tragedy"(page 9) to show the bad things happening in the world.  These words make you feel danger and somber instead of being happy.  Ginsberg uses very descriptive writing to show his feelings to the world and society itself.  When he says, "illuminating all the motionless world of Time between,"(page 10) he is showing that all people are doing the same thing and following the same rules.  Illuminating means to light up.  I feel he is trying to let people know what the world is doing and showing how things could change.

During this time people did not use fowl language, but Ginsberg does so to demonstrate what needs to be done in society.  "dragged off the roof waving genitals and manuscripts,"(page 13), this language is not appropriate but I feel Ginsberg feels it is necessary to get his point across.  He is going against the cultural norms and society standards to show there is more you can do with your life then follow the rules.  "drunken taxicabs of Absolute Reality,"(page 16) this is showing America what reality is.  Everyone in the world is not perfect and there will be times that people do not follow the social norms.  Even though the people around you may not see it, it is happening everyday. One part I found every interesting was when Ginsberg says, "and even that imaginary, nothing but a hopeful little bit of hallucination-"(page 19).  I found this line very interesting but had a hard time deciding what he meant about it.  I feel he could mean he is hoping everyone will follow his thoughts and figure out life is not always about following the rules.  

Although I found it hard to understand his meanings throughout this writing I really enjoyed his descriptive writing and forceful out look on society.  He says, "Dreams! adorations! illuminations! religions! the whole boatload of sensitive bullshit!"(page 22).  He writes a list of different happy and good things in life and ends it with these things not meaning anything to him.  Ginsberg is figuring himself out in life not just the others around him.  He describes all the bad things he has done in his life but is trying to fix them for the future.  The final sentence, "They jumped of the roof! to solitude! waving! carrying flowers! Down to the river! into the street!"(page 23).  This shows him figuring out himself in life.  By jumping off the roof he is letting go of the past and moving on to the future.  Ginsberg is trying to prove what happened in the modernest movement.  People didn't have to live by those standards to still be excepted, you could do whatever you wanted and still be satisfied with your life.

  

"Sonny's Blues" Blog

After reading "Sonny's Blues" by James Baldwin I felt there were many interesting points made, but that it was still some what confusing.  The short story starts with the first sentence in capital letters making a reference to what will be told throughout the story.  The word "HYPERBOLIC"(page 30) is used which means exaggerated.  The story starts off with a man who is a school teacher and has a brother who is very ill, just like the brothers in "Sonny's Blues".  He says, "I hadn't listened with enough passion;"(page 31) this shows the brothers remorse for not giving his brother enough attention.  He feels sadden from his brothers death and feels he is in a way responsible.  By always being focused on himself he did not give his brother enough time which could have led to his death.  The man ends up reading "Sonny's Blues" and this is where the story really starts.

In the beginning the brother is shocked to read a story in the paper about his own brother.  When he says, "trapped in the darkness which roared outside"(page 31) we can tell he feels bad for what has happened to his brother.  The ice he refers to in the beginning is a representation of his brother coming back into his life.  After there time apart he has forgotten about Sonny but then is reintroduced to him just by reading the paper.  Once reading the article in the paper he cannot stop thinking about his brother and the life they had has children.  He says, "All they really knew were two darknesses, the darkness of their lives" and "the darkness of the movies"(page 33) these two quotes are a flashback to the boys childhoods.  These darknesses had been a huge part of their childhood from living in Harlem.  The darkness from the movies would take part of the darkness from their own lives.

The narrator then finally sends a letter to his brother after not talking with him for a year.  He becomes angry with himself after finding out his brother is very glad to hear from him.  Sonny says, "You don't know how much I needed to hear from you."(page 36) this shows Sonny's love for his brother and how much it means to him to hear from his brother.  He goes on to say, "I'm glad Mama and Daddy are dead and can't see what's happened to their son"(page 36) Sonny would not want to disappoint his parents in his actions.  He does not want to hurt is family and that is why he is glad they are not there.  Once Sonny gets out of prison his brother takes him home with him.  He says, "I was simply bringing him back into the danger he had almost died trying to escape"(page 38).  The house his brother lives in is almost identical to the one they grew up in and he does not want Sonny to remember the past.  

This story explains the hard times children had growing up in Harlem.  The narrator is always describing the darkness which represents evil or bad things to come.  The story also demonstrates the lives African Americans had to live while the white people did not treat them nicely.  Although the narrator has become a teacher in his life and tried to fit in as much as possible the times he had to live with his family will never leave him.  There is one point when Sonny says, "a white girl's apartment"(page 46) to Isabel the narrator's wife.  Once she hears this is where Sonny has been she starts to scream.  This emotion shows how bad it was to interact with the opposite race.  

Sonny's escape from it all is through playing jazz music.  He says, "I've been something I didn't recognize, didn't know I could be."(page 52)  this shows that through the ruff times he has faced in his life he finally found something that he loved doing.  Playing jazz music is something Sonny never thought he could do but did it and is great at what he does.  He wanted to change his life for the better.  Sonny wanted to leave the drugs from the past behind and start over with a goal in life-to play jazz music.  Towards the end Sonny invites his brother to see him perform.  While at his performance the narrator notices how his brother has changed the lives of others.  He was in "Sonny's world"(page 53) with his friends and his supporters.  Sonny was no longer alone in the world and his brother finally realized how special his brother was.  

Sonny allowed his brother to experience a part of him he had never seen before.  He says, "Sonny's fingers filled the air with life, his life." the narrator is showing that this is Sonny's life and what he lives for.  He does not want to go back to drugs or to the darkness of the past but to find a new meaning in life.  Although the darkness will always be a part of them they are doing their best to live life freely.  The narrator has finally started to understand his brother and same for Sonny.  Through all their fights and battles they have come a long way in life and will continue to be free.   

"The Glass Menagerie" Scene 7

Scene seven begins with the lights going out in the apartment.  I feel this event is a foreshadowing of Toms future actions in his life, by doing what he wants to in his life instead of providing for the family.  He decided not to pay the power bill and save the money to join the Union of Merchant Seamen instead.  While Amanda is dealing with finding out that Tom did not pay the bill, Jim is trying to make jokes and small talk to lighten the mood.  Jim says, "Candlelight is my favorite kind of light."(page 69) which shows he is trying to make the best out of the situation.  When Amanda says, "nobody's given me this much entertainment in years-as you have!"(page 69)  I feel that she herself is flirting with Jim.  Although he was brought to the house for Laura I feel as though Amanda misses the days of having her own gentleman callers.  She wants to be admired and called upon even at her age.

When Jim comes into the room to talk with Laura she is very quite and shy.  By saying, "her paralyzing shyness"(page 70) we can tell she never grows out of this state.  We are always reminded of how she takes on her life.  Throughout their conversation Jim is very interested in getting to know Laura.  Laura then starts to talk to him more and more and explains why she was always ashamed to walk into class.  When she had to wear the cast on her leg she felt it made a loud clumping sound.  Jim then says, "I never heard any clumping"(page 75) this shows that even when Laura thought everyone was staring at her no one noticed anything.  She was again like one of her glass animals, alone and unnoticed.  One of my favorite parts was when "Laura's shyness is dissolving in his warmth.'(page 77).  This is a very strong part of the play because Laura is beginning to loosen up to Jim and let her guard down.  

Further in the play the discussion of Jim's old girlfriend in high school comes up.  He "leans indolently back on his elbows", indolently means wanting to avoid the activity.  I feel that Jim is having such a great time with Laura he does not want to bring up things that might hurt her in the end.  Laura says, "Glass is something you have to take good care of."(page 80) this shows exactly who she is.  Laura is just like a piece of glass, very fragile and innocent.  If she is not taken care of in the best way she could be damaged.  Laura trusts Jim with anything.  She allows him to hold one of her favorite glass pieces.  When the glass piece falls off the table and breaks I took this as a turning point for Laura.  Laura was the unicorn in a group of horses.  She is unique in her own way.  When the horn falls off Laura is changed into who everyone else is.  Laura can finally realize she is not so different from everyone else, but that everyone is different in their own way.

When Jim "turns her about and kisses her on the lips"(page 88) I felt that he truly liked her and thought she was one in a million.  I was very disappointed when I found out he had a steady girlfriend.  Jim should have said something from the beginning.  He was the one who was able to get through to Laura and show her she really is something special.  When Laura gives Jim "A-souvenir..."(page 91) it shows that she has learned from Jim to go out and face the world.  She is giving him a glass unicorn that meant so much to her.  Laura is able to tell Jim through this gift how he has changed her life.

The last part of the play was not a shocker to me.  I knew the time would come when Tom would break out from the home and become his own person.  When Amanda says, "a deserted mother,an unmarried sister who's crippled and has no job!"(page 96) I felt unsure about the matter.  Amanda who is always correcting Tom for calling Laura a cripple is now doing it herself.  This shows all along Amanda really knows what her daughter is but didn't want to face the facts.  She is resorting to Tom's level now to try and get him to stay.  Tom then says, "from then on, in my fathers footsteps,"(page 97).  All along Tom has held some of the same qualities that his father had but finally reaches the point where he has to be like him and leave.  Amanda has driven away her husband and now her son from her own actions.  Tom wants to lead his own life and he the man he wants to be without having to listen to his mother.  

"The Glass Menagerie"

After reading the first part of "The Glass Menagerie" by Tennessee Williams I had many thoughts in my mind.  The reading was very interesting but I also find plays a little hard to read.  Once I got going I discovered many interesting details within the play.  My first thought was what is "The Glass Menagerie".  I came to find out that Menagerie is a collection on glass animals that are kept captive for an exhibition.  This meaning comes into play many times with the sister Laura throughout the readings.  The description of the first scene allows for a full visual perspective on what the apartment looks like.  The use of "interior is therefore rather dim and poetic"(page 3) allows readers to visualize what the apartment looks like inside.  Also, by saying "narrow alleys which run into murky canyons of tangled clotheslines'(page 3) gives the viewer a since of how close the apartments are and shows an earlier time frame.  The word "ineluctably" is used in describing the fathers smile in the picture, which means unable to be resisted.  This shows that although the father is not on good terms with the family from leaving them he is never going to be forgotten.

One of the main characters in the play is Amanda, the mother.  She is very persistent in the fact she wants her daughter, Laura, to find a suitable gentleman.  Amanda was the one who had several gentleman callers at a young age and thinks the same should come from her daughter.  She loves both her son and daughter even though she can be very rude and forceful.  In explaining what was expected of a young lady to get a gentleman caller Amanda says, "needed to have a nimble wit and a tongue to meet all occasions"(page 8).  Nimble means quick and light in action.  In this respect the mother is explaining that to have many gentleman callers you not only have to be pretty but you need to be able to carry a conversation in any situation.  Amanda wants the best for her children and for them to become successful in life.  She learned a lot from her actions in life and does not want the same for her children.  

The next character is Tom.  Tom is the son of Amanda and is the main provider for the family.  Since his dad left he has had to work at the local warehouse instead of following his dreams in life.  He is very unhappy in his situation and ends up blowing up on his mother.  Tom supposedly goes out to a movie every night and also ends up drinking.  Amanda hates this because she does not want her son to turn out exactly like her husband did.  Amanda feels Tom only thinks of himself.  Tom then says, " if self is what I thought of, Mother, I'd be where he is-GONE!"(page 23) this shows Toms true feelings towards the situation at home.  If he did not care about his family he would have already left just like his father did.  During the explosion wish his mother he ends up throwing his jacket across the room which breaks many of his sisters glass menagerie.  After this he feels horrible about the accident and knows that it caused his sister a lot of pain.  He then does as his mother asks and calls on a gentleman from the warehouse for his sister.  Tom chooses someone his sister knew in high school which turns out for the worst.  I feel although Tom needs to change some things in his life he cares a lot for his family and tries his best to provide for them.  In the end he needs to do what he wants to in life and stop living the life his mother sees for him.

The next main character is Laura the sister and daughter.  Laura is a very quite girl who gets nervous very easily.  She suffers from a bad leg which makes her walk with a limp.  Her brother sometimes calls her crippled which does not sit well with the mother.  Although Tom loves his sister he knows she is different from the other girls around.  Amanda comes to find out Laura has dropped out of the community college that she was paying fifty dollars for her to go to.  This devastates her mother.  When asked where she has been going during the school time Laura says " I just went walking."(page 14).  This shows that Laura likes to be alone and keeps to herself.  She is shy and scared of the outside world around her.  She enjoys collecting her glass figurines.  I feel this is her escape in the world.  She found something she really loves and does not have to be shy around.  Laura is just like the glass figurines in the since that she is held captive in her own world and is just like a statue on a self.  Not many people know she is there but she is still interesting in her own way.  All the characters thus far have an interesting background and stay true to who they really are.