"Lolita" Part 1 Blog

When reading the first part of "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov I was very uncomfortable with what I had read.  I felt the book was very hard to read because it was so awkward.  Although the reading showed a man dealing with pedophilia which was interesting, it was disturbing.  Before this class I had never heard of "Lolita" so I was unsure of what to expect.  After understanding what the book was about I was uneasy about reading it.  I did find some of the book very interesting and worth talking about.

The first sentence in "Lolita" explained what the book would be about.  "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins.  My sin, my soul."(page 3).  After reading this sentence I realized the book would be very interesting and that this sentence showed what type of person we were about to discover.  Humbert then goes into all his stories about different young women he had feelings for and their stories.  His first love was with a young girl named Annabel.  He visually describes what he remembers about Annabel and their times together.  "All at once we were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other;"(page 12).  Although Humbert said they were in love we soon find out they failed at making love.  He goes on to talk about many different prostitutes he had been with.  After the prostitutes he discovers his attraction is only for the nymphets.  A nymphet is a young girl who is sexually attractive.  He discovers he enjoys the young girls who are younger then the age of 14.

Humbert speaks in a very descriptive way through some of his thoughts.  He describes the girls and himself in great depth.  I feel he tries to come across as a good man when he uses "exceptionally handsome male" and "soft dark hair"(page 25).  He doesn't want people to think of him any differently just because of his thoughts on younger girls.  Humbert then goes on and describes his vision and meeting of Lolita.  "the vacuum of my soul managed to suck in every detail of her bright beauty"(page 39).  He has finally found his love and the one he has been looking for.  He tries to find the right time to talk to his Lolita but doesn't find the right time till no one else is around.  

When Humbert begins to play with Lolita in his lap I became uneasy.  I felt that even though Nabokov used very descriptive writing the thoughts and things that were done were very wrong.  His description of his sexual feelings were very repulsive.  I felt that even though he is talking about the person he loves and that age doesn't matter it is still an issue in many peoples eyes.  I feel sorry for him.  Even though he loves this girl it comes across as being very wrong and disgusting to the readers.

"Howl" Blog

After reading "Howl" by Allen Ginsberg I was very confused.  I felt the reading was very hard to understand but I attempted to get as much out of it as I could.  The first line was very interesting to me.  "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness,"(page 9).  He feels everyone is so into the social norm that they are not living the lives they should be.  The madness he talks about is how everyone conforms to the same rules.  Within the first page I saw that he used words such as "supernatural darkness" and Black-light tragedy"(page 9) to show the bad things happening in the world.  These words make you feel danger and somber instead of being happy.  Ginsberg uses very descriptive writing to show his feelings to the world and society itself.  When he says, "illuminating all the motionless world of Time between,"(page 10) he is showing that all people are doing the same thing and following the same rules.  Illuminating means to light up.  I feel he is trying to let people know what the world is doing and showing how things could change.

During this time people did not use fowl language, but Ginsberg does so to demonstrate what needs to be done in society.  "dragged off the roof waving genitals and manuscripts,"(page 13), this language is not appropriate but I feel Ginsberg feels it is necessary to get his point across.  He is going against the cultural norms and society standards to show there is more you can do with your life then follow the rules.  "drunken taxicabs of Absolute Reality,"(page 16) this is showing America what reality is.  Everyone in the world is not perfect and there will be times that people do not follow the social norms.  Even though the people around you may not see it, it is happening everyday. One part I found every interesting was when Ginsberg says, "and even that imaginary, nothing but a hopeful little bit of hallucination-"(page 19).  I found this line very interesting but had a hard time deciding what he meant about it.  I feel he could mean he is hoping everyone will follow his thoughts and figure out life is not always about following the rules.  

Although I found it hard to understand his meanings throughout this writing I really enjoyed his descriptive writing and forceful out look on society.  He says, "Dreams! adorations! illuminations! religions! the whole boatload of sensitive bullshit!"(page 22).  He writes a list of different happy and good things in life and ends it with these things not meaning anything to him.  Ginsberg is figuring himself out in life not just the others around him.  He describes all the bad things he has done in his life but is trying to fix them for the future.  The final sentence, "They jumped of the roof! to solitude! waving! carrying flowers! Down to the river! into the street!"(page 23).  This shows him figuring out himself in life.  By jumping off the roof he is letting go of the past and moving on to the future.  Ginsberg is trying to prove what happened in the modernest movement.  People didn't have to live by those standards to still be excepted, you could do whatever you wanted and still be satisfied with your life.

  

"Sonny's Blues" Blog

After reading "Sonny's Blues" by James Baldwin I felt there were many interesting points made, but that it was still some what confusing.  The short story starts with the first sentence in capital letters making a reference to what will be told throughout the story.  The word "HYPERBOLIC"(page 30) is used which means exaggerated.  The story starts off with a man who is a school teacher and has a brother who is very ill, just like the brothers in "Sonny's Blues".  He says, "I hadn't listened with enough passion;"(page 31) this shows the brothers remorse for not giving his brother enough attention.  He feels sadden from his brothers death and feels he is in a way responsible.  By always being focused on himself he did not give his brother enough time which could have led to his death.  The man ends up reading "Sonny's Blues" and this is where the story really starts.

In the beginning the brother is shocked to read a story in the paper about his own brother.  When he says, "trapped in the darkness which roared outside"(page 31) we can tell he feels bad for what has happened to his brother.  The ice he refers to in the beginning is a representation of his brother coming back into his life.  After there time apart he has forgotten about Sonny but then is reintroduced to him just by reading the paper.  Once reading the article in the paper he cannot stop thinking about his brother and the life they had has children.  He says, "All they really knew were two darknesses, the darkness of their lives" and "the darkness of the movies"(page 33) these two quotes are a flashback to the boys childhoods.  These darknesses had been a huge part of their childhood from living in Harlem.  The darkness from the movies would take part of the darkness from their own lives.

The narrator then finally sends a letter to his brother after not talking with him for a year.  He becomes angry with himself after finding out his brother is very glad to hear from him.  Sonny says, "You don't know how much I needed to hear from you."(page 36) this shows Sonny's love for his brother and how much it means to him to hear from his brother.  He goes on to say, "I'm glad Mama and Daddy are dead and can't see what's happened to their son"(page 36) Sonny would not want to disappoint his parents in his actions.  He does not want to hurt is family and that is why he is glad they are not there.  Once Sonny gets out of prison his brother takes him home with him.  He says, "I was simply bringing him back into the danger he had almost died trying to escape"(page 38).  The house his brother lives in is almost identical to the one they grew up in and he does not want Sonny to remember the past.  

This story explains the hard times children had growing up in Harlem.  The narrator is always describing the darkness which represents evil or bad things to come.  The story also demonstrates the lives African Americans had to live while the white people did not treat them nicely.  Although the narrator has become a teacher in his life and tried to fit in as much as possible the times he had to live with his family will never leave him.  There is one point when Sonny says, "a white girl's apartment"(page 46) to Isabel the narrator's wife.  Once she hears this is where Sonny has been she starts to scream.  This emotion shows how bad it was to interact with the opposite race.  

Sonny's escape from it all is through playing jazz music.  He says, "I've been something I didn't recognize, didn't know I could be."(page 52)  this shows that through the ruff times he has faced in his life he finally found something that he loved doing.  Playing jazz music is something Sonny never thought he could do but did it and is great at what he does.  He wanted to change his life for the better.  Sonny wanted to leave the drugs from the past behind and start over with a goal in life-to play jazz music.  Towards the end Sonny invites his brother to see him perform.  While at his performance the narrator notices how his brother has changed the lives of others.  He was in "Sonny's world"(page 53) with his friends and his supporters.  Sonny was no longer alone in the world and his brother finally realized how special his brother was.  

Sonny allowed his brother to experience a part of him he had never seen before.  He says, "Sonny's fingers filled the air with life, his life." the narrator is showing that this is Sonny's life and what he lives for.  He does not want to go back to drugs or to the darkness of the past but to find a new meaning in life.  Although the darkness will always be a part of them they are doing their best to live life freely.  The narrator has finally started to understand his brother and same for Sonny.  Through all their fights and battles they have come a long way in life and will continue to be free.   

"The Glass Menagerie" Scene 7

Scene seven begins with the lights going out in the apartment.  I feel this event is a foreshadowing of Toms future actions in his life, by doing what he wants to in his life instead of providing for the family.  He decided not to pay the power bill and save the money to join the Union of Merchant Seamen instead.  While Amanda is dealing with finding out that Tom did not pay the bill, Jim is trying to make jokes and small talk to lighten the mood.  Jim says, "Candlelight is my favorite kind of light."(page 69) which shows he is trying to make the best out of the situation.  When Amanda says, "nobody's given me this much entertainment in years-as you have!"(page 69)  I feel that she herself is flirting with Jim.  Although he was brought to the house for Laura I feel as though Amanda misses the days of having her own gentleman callers.  She wants to be admired and called upon even at her age.

When Jim comes into the room to talk with Laura she is very quite and shy.  By saying, "her paralyzing shyness"(page 70) we can tell she never grows out of this state.  We are always reminded of how she takes on her life.  Throughout their conversation Jim is very interested in getting to know Laura.  Laura then starts to talk to him more and more and explains why she was always ashamed to walk into class.  When she had to wear the cast on her leg she felt it made a loud clumping sound.  Jim then says, "I never heard any clumping"(page 75) this shows that even when Laura thought everyone was staring at her no one noticed anything.  She was again like one of her glass animals, alone and unnoticed.  One of my favorite parts was when "Laura's shyness is dissolving in his warmth.'(page 77).  This is a very strong part of the play because Laura is beginning to loosen up to Jim and let her guard down.  

Further in the play the discussion of Jim's old girlfriend in high school comes up.  He "leans indolently back on his elbows", indolently means wanting to avoid the activity.  I feel that Jim is having such a great time with Laura he does not want to bring up things that might hurt her in the end.  Laura says, "Glass is something you have to take good care of."(page 80) this shows exactly who she is.  Laura is just like a piece of glass, very fragile and innocent.  If she is not taken care of in the best way she could be damaged.  Laura trusts Jim with anything.  She allows him to hold one of her favorite glass pieces.  When the glass piece falls off the table and breaks I took this as a turning point for Laura.  Laura was the unicorn in a group of horses.  She is unique in her own way.  When the horn falls off Laura is changed into who everyone else is.  Laura can finally realize she is not so different from everyone else, but that everyone is different in their own way.

When Jim "turns her about and kisses her on the lips"(page 88) I felt that he truly liked her and thought she was one in a million.  I was very disappointed when I found out he had a steady girlfriend.  Jim should have said something from the beginning.  He was the one who was able to get through to Laura and show her she really is something special.  When Laura gives Jim "A-souvenir..."(page 91) it shows that she has learned from Jim to go out and face the world.  She is giving him a glass unicorn that meant so much to her.  Laura is able to tell Jim through this gift how he has changed her life.

The last part of the play was not a shocker to me.  I knew the time would come when Tom would break out from the home and become his own person.  When Amanda says, "a deserted mother,an unmarried sister who's crippled and has no job!"(page 96) I felt unsure about the matter.  Amanda who is always correcting Tom for calling Laura a cripple is now doing it herself.  This shows all along Amanda really knows what her daughter is but didn't want to face the facts.  She is resorting to Tom's level now to try and get him to stay.  Tom then says, "from then on, in my fathers footsteps,"(page 97).  All along Tom has held some of the same qualities that his father had but finally reaches the point where he has to be like him and leave.  Amanda has driven away her husband and now her son from her own actions.  Tom wants to lead his own life and he the man he wants to be without having to listen to his mother.  

"The Glass Menagerie"

After reading the first part of "The Glass Menagerie" by Tennessee Williams I had many thoughts in my mind.  The reading was very interesting but I also find plays a little hard to read.  Once I got going I discovered many interesting details within the play.  My first thought was what is "The Glass Menagerie".  I came to find out that Menagerie is a collection on glass animals that are kept captive for an exhibition.  This meaning comes into play many times with the sister Laura throughout the readings.  The description of the first scene allows for a full visual perspective on what the apartment looks like.  The use of "interior is therefore rather dim and poetic"(page 3) allows readers to visualize what the apartment looks like inside.  Also, by saying "narrow alleys which run into murky canyons of tangled clotheslines'(page 3) gives the viewer a since of how close the apartments are and shows an earlier time frame.  The word "ineluctably" is used in describing the fathers smile in the picture, which means unable to be resisted.  This shows that although the father is not on good terms with the family from leaving them he is never going to be forgotten.

One of the main characters in the play is Amanda, the mother.  She is very persistent in the fact she wants her daughter, Laura, to find a suitable gentleman.  Amanda was the one who had several gentleman callers at a young age and thinks the same should come from her daughter.  She loves both her son and daughter even though she can be very rude and forceful.  In explaining what was expected of a young lady to get a gentleman caller Amanda says, "needed to have a nimble wit and a tongue to meet all occasions"(page 8).  Nimble means quick and light in action.  In this respect the mother is explaining that to have many gentleman callers you not only have to be pretty but you need to be able to carry a conversation in any situation.  Amanda wants the best for her children and for them to become successful in life.  She learned a lot from her actions in life and does not want the same for her children.  

The next character is Tom.  Tom is the son of Amanda and is the main provider for the family.  Since his dad left he has had to work at the local warehouse instead of following his dreams in life.  He is very unhappy in his situation and ends up blowing up on his mother.  Tom supposedly goes out to a movie every night and also ends up drinking.  Amanda hates this because she does not want her son to turn out exactly like her husband did.  Amanda feels Tom only thinks of himself.  Tom then says, " if self is what I thought of, Mother, I'd be where he is-GONE!"(page 23) this shows Toms true feelings towards the situation at home.  If he did not care about his family he would have already left just like his father did.  During the explosion wish his mother he ends up throwing his jacket across the room which breaks many of his sisters glass menagerie.  After this he feels horrible about the accident and knows that it caused his sister a lot of pain.  He then does as his mother asks and calls on a gentleman from the warehouse for his sister.  Tom chooses someone his sister knew in high school which turns out for the worst.  I feel although Tom needs to change some things in his life he cares a lot for his family and tries his best to provide for them.  In the end he needs to do what he wants to in life and stop living the life his mother sees for him.

The next main character is Laura the sister and daughter.  Laura is a very quite girl who gets nervous very easily.  She suffers from a bad leg which makes her walk with a limp.  Her brother sometimes calls her crippled which does not sit well with the mother.  Although Tom loves his sister he knows she is different from the other girls around.  Amanda comes to find out Laura has dropped out of the community college that she was paying fifty dollars for her to go to.  This devastates her mother.  When asked where she has been going during the school time Laura says " I just went walking."(page 14).  This shows that Laura likes to be alone and keeps to herself.  She is shy and scared of the outside world around her.  She enjoys collecting her glass figurines.  I feel this is her escape in the world.  She found something she really loves and does not have to be shy around.  Laura is just like the glass figurines in the since that she is held captive in her own world and is just like a statue on a self.  Not many people know she is there but she is still interesting in her own way.  All the characters thus far have an interesting background and stay true to who they really are.

"The Flowers" and "Girl" Blog

After reading "The Flowers" by Alice Walker I was very interested in her style of writing.  I really enjoy readings that have lots of descriptive writing in them.  In "The Flowers" Walker starts out by describing a young girl who is enjoying her day just by adventuring around where she lives.  Walker says, "the air held a keenness that made her nose twitch.", this shows the girls excitement for her adventure.  Keenness means having or showing enthusiasm.  The descriptive words make it easy to visualize what Myop is doing throughout her day.  The first paragraph shows a visual description on Myop on a farm where she lives, "from hen house to pigpen" shows that she is on a farm.  The second paragraph goes into more description and clarifies that Myop is a young girl.  By using "tat-de-ta-ta-ta", Walker does a great job of onomatopoeia to show the young girl playing with the stick against the pigpen.

Further through the story Walker uses, "white bubbles" and "think black soil", which are somewhat opposites.  White is more of a happy positive color while black is more dark and negative.  She uses great description in talking about the flowers Myop holds in her arms.  From "strange blue flowers" to "velvety ridges" we are able to really see the colors and think of the texture.  Myop then decides to wonder further into the woods to explore.  She uses the word laden which means loaded.  This tells how many flowers she is caring in her hands.  When wondering into the the cove Walker uses "air was damp, the silence close and deep" to transition into a scary, dark, and strange place.  The transition from her loving fun home to the dark strange place lets you know something is about to happen.  When she steps on the skull she is surprised but then interested in the surroundings.  Walker says "wild pink rose", this line adds an interesting discussion.  Even though the rose is beautiful and shows hope, something awful has happened in its place representing death.  It seems ironic to have such a pretty thing right beside such a tragic event.  I feel from the reading the man had hung himself, since he is still there and no one has come across him.

The short story "Girl" by Jamaica Kincaid was similar to "The Flowers" in that it was descriptive, but in a different way.  Kincaid describes things women do in everyday life or should know how to do before leaving home.  This story is written from a mom to her daughter.  The mom explains everything the daughter needs to know to live on her own.  From the reading you can tell the mom and daughter do not have a great relationship.  When the mom says, "on Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming", clearly the mom and daughter do not have a positive relationship.  She feels her daughter is growing up to be something she should not be.  You could even take it as the daughter going against her mom in how she chooses her life to end up.  

Kincaid like Walker uses descriptive language by telling how to do everyday chores.  The daughter only have about ten words in the whole story which shows the mom is probably very strict and does not care what her daughter has to say.  By saying the same line about being a slut twice you get the effect of the bad relationship between the two.  During the last few lines of the story the mother says, "after all you are really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won't let near the bread?", this furthers the the ideas that the mother and daughter have a hard time getting along.  The mother feels her daughter is not good enough and needs to know more about the world before she goes off and does her own thing.  Although the mother is very strict on her daughter I feel she only does it because she truly loves her and wants the best for her in everything she does.

"Birches" and "Mending Wall" Blog

The poem "Birches" by Robert Frost is a very interesting and in depth poem.  After reading the poem twice I finally was able to take my own meaning from the poem.  Throughout the beginning Frost describes the birch trees and how they are bent over from the ice.  When he says, "But swinging doesn't bend them down to stay."  he is wishing that a boy had been swinging on them to play, but in reality an ice storm has made them bend down.  Even once the ice melts off the birches have been ruined forever.  They will never be able to recover to their full strength.  Later he says, "As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel",  this is talking about the birches and how the breeze is making the branches hit together.  Enamel means a glassy substance on a hard surface.  The enamel is the representation of the ice on the branches.  

Further throughout the poem Frost says, " By riding them down over and over again Until he took the stiffness out of them,".  This quote is describing his hope for the boy to play on the branches and to help them recover the damage done by the ice.  Although the branches are stiff from the ice he is hoping by the boy swinging on them that they will be able to restore their health.  In return for the boy helping make the trees better, the trees are helping him.  When he has nothing else the trees are there as his recovery.  They are his way to escape the world when he feels the need.  Frost says, " Then he flung outward feet first, with a swish, Kicking his way down through the air to the ground.", when saying this he is describing the boys way of starting over.  When he climbs up the tree and jumps off he has no way of knowing what will happen.

After reading "Mending Wall" by Robert Frost I found it very confusing at first.  Once I went through it a few more times I found some interesting meanings.  This poem discusses the wall between Frost and his neighbor and how it keeps getting torn down.  When Frost says, " Where they have left not one stone on a stone,"  he means they have torn down the wall.  He goes on to describe how no one ever sees the wall being torn down but when he goes to fix the wall the damage is visible.  Later on in the poem he says, "And on the day we meet to walk the line And set the wall between us once again.".  This quote is describing when Frost goes to get his neighbor to look at the damage of the wall.  When they "walk the line" they are observing the damage done to the wall.

Frost ends up saying they really do not need the wall between them.  The wall does not do anything considering they have such different personalities.  Frost says, " He is all pine and I am apple orchard", this is describing the difference in their personalities.  He goes on to say there is no reason for the wall because he will not steal anything from his neighbor.  Whenever he asks the neighbor about taking the wall down all he can say is "Good fences make good neighbors".  This quote is from the neighbor who received this information from his own father.  The neighbor does not have any real issue with Frost but does not want to take the wall down because of his fathers known statement.

2nd assignment poetry

The first time I read "In a Station of the Metro" by Ezra Pound, I was not sure what to think since it was so short.  After reading the poem again I found deeper meaning within the lines and the title.  At first glance I felt she was trying to describe who and what she was seeing in the Metro station.  Then as I went back I discovered words I had not taking into the deeper meaning.  In the first line the word apparition means a ghost like image of someone.  I feel the author is trying to say she does not see anyone around.  Even though there are tons of people around she is so lost in her own thoughts that they appear to be ghost like.  The second line has the word bough, which means the main branch of a tree.  After putting these two lines together I feel that she thinks she is being over looked or she is not there.  The "petals on a wet, black bough"(line 2), makes me feel that they seem to not be there.  The petals seem to blend in just like she does to the crowd, or maybe the crowd to her.

After reading "Photograph of My Father in His Twenty-Second Year" by Raymond Carver, I had a lot on my mind.  There were many ways to look at this poem and try and figure out its meaning.  In the first stanza I feel that the author is looking at his father from years ago and how he used to be.  The images of "unfamiliar kitchen"(line 1), "Sheepish grin"(line 3), and "bottle of Carlsbad beer" (line 5) all give you images of what the boy is seeing.  From his images I can see the pictures in my head.  The second stanza becomes more in depth.  The description of his clothes and how he is sitting on the car gives for a great visual.  The boy then says, "his posterity" (line 8),  this whole line shows that the dad wanted to prove to his family and all future generations he was a great guy.  The word posterity means the future generations of people.  By the end of the stanza when he says, "All his life my father wanted to be bold" (line 10), the boy is letting us know what his father is feeling or what he thinks about his father.  The father has always wanted to do something in his life to make a change but has not had the opportunity. 

The third stanza showed the most meaning to me.  When he talks about his fathers eyes and hands I see the effect the drinking is doing on him.  The boy then says, " the sting of dead perch and the bottle of beer." (line 12 and 13), this shows that everything the father thought he had or could have had is slipping away due to these effects on his life.  Although the boy loves his father he knows his actions are just having the same affect on him growing up and soon enough he will turn into who his father was.  Then near the end the boy says "I who can't hold my liquor either"(line 14), this proves the fact that the boy feels his fathers actions have also lead him in the same direction.  Although he loves his father he wants things to change for the better.

Letter of Introduction

     Throughout high school I took many english courses including: two honors english classes and two AP classes which I found very interesting.  When I came to Clemson I took English 103 for a general Ed.  Although english is not my strongest subject I still found the different readings and most of the writing assignments to be very intriguing.  I do enjoy writing papers on areas that interest me or different topics given, but have trouble understanding the meanings of novels.    

     My most memorable teacher and class would have to be honors english three by Mr. Fish.  He taught in a way that was easy enough for us all to understand, but still complex enough to allow us to learn in depth about every novel we read.  One exercise I found helpful in his class was listening to a different song everyday and writing a summary of what we thought the true meaning was and what point the writer was trying to make.  We read many novels in his class including works from Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and Faulkner.  I enjoyed all the readings by Ernest Hemingway.  My favorite books were "A Farewell to Arms" and  "The Sun Also Rises". "The Great Gatsby" by Scott Fitzgerald was also another favorite of mine. 

The most enjoyable writings I have written came from my AP english class junior year.  I found the teacher to really take an interest in what we enjoyed and also liked to learn our strengths as a writer.  I have written several persuasive essays, descriptive essays, and only a few research papers.  When writing emails I am very straightforward and to the point or sometimes explain in more detail.  This writing comes more across as non-fictional to me.  I feel when writing emails I say the same things I would if I was in person.  The reason for taking this class is because it is recurred but I have also heard it is very interesting.  Although english is not my best subject I still would like to learn more about it.  My major hear at Clemson is Accounting.

Clemson Life

Clemson life has come and gone,

but the times will travel on and on

The Football games are always fun

with tons of laughs and good times for everyone

Lets not forget the long days of studying

or the time spent with all our best buddies

The times at Clemson will stay with me forever

as we move through our lives together